Hail and Farewell
by heavenlyshadows
Summary: The hardest thing in life is learning which bridges to cross and which to burn.
1. Chapter 1

Jace Herondale didn't think he had ever been so bored in his life. He heaved a massive sigh as he watched the identical looking shops that lined both sides of the street go by in a blur. "You keep frowning, your face will get stuck like that." Jace turned to glare at his adoptive brother, Alec Lightwood, who sat in the driver's seat, grinning. The dark-haired boys smile dropped as soon as he saw that Jace wasn't laughing."Look, Jace, I know you didn't want to come here but this could be fun." He gave the blonde a pointed look. "You need to at least try. You promised…" "I know!" Jace cut Alec off, annoyed. "But this isn't fun Alec. Far from it." Alec scoffed, and when he spoke, he sounded angry. "Really? So what you were doing back in New York was 'fun'? Drinking with your 'friends' every night, failing classes, sleeping with every girl you can get your hands on, getting suspended for smoking on school property. That was _fun_ for you?" "No! Look… it's just been hard." "Yeah, well it's been hard for all of us! The only difference is we aren't doing everything we can to make everyone else miserable." Alec stopped, glaring at the road as he continued to drive. After what seemed like an eternity, he turned into the driveway of an old Victorian home, partially hidden in the woods at the edge of town. It was nice, Jace wasn't going to lie, but it was nothing like their place in New York. That was home. It wasn't until the car was parked that Alec spoke again."Look, I know it sucks that Ma… that he's gone. I know you miss him. We all do." Alec didn't sound angry anymore, just sad. "But its been a year. You can't use him as an excuse anymore." Then Alec got out of the car, and marched towards the house before Jace could say another word.

"Clary? You need to get up or you're going to be late." Clarys stepfather, Luke, said from the other side of her bedroom door. He paused, waiting for an 'okay' or even a grunt of response from the redhead. What came back was silence."I made coffee." That got Clary's attention. She rushed to get dressed and to the kitchen before her mother stole the rest of the caffeine she needed to survive. However, when Clary padded into the kitchen with her messenger bag slung over her shoulder, her mother was nowhere to be seen. Luke sat at the table by himself, reading the paper and sipping coffee that was nearly white with the amount of creamer in it. "Where's mom?" Clary asked, taking a seat across from her stepfather and sipping from the cup of black coffee in front of her. "Upstairs." Luke set his paper down with a sigh. Clary fought to repress a sigh of her own. Ever since her older brother, Jonathan, had died last June, her mother had all but become a ghost. She didn't sleep or eat, and even when she left the house, which was rare, Jocelyn didn't speak to anyone. Clary took another sip of her coffee and stared at the linoleum tiles on the floor. She wished she could be like her mom, hiding upstairs with an excuse not to go to school today. It felt wrong, walking through the hallways of a school that had once been her brothers kingdom alone, having to see his friends, and trying to deal with the same 'How are yous?' and 'Are you okays?' she had been dealing with the past three months. There would be a memorial for Jon at school, but it wasn't the same. She wanted the real him there, not just a picture. The sound of a horn honking outside broke Clary out of her thoughts and she almost laughed at how grateful she was to have an excuse to leave. "Thats Simon, I gotta run." She downed the last of her coffee, then ran for the door, calling "Bye Luke!" over her shoulder as she went. "What, no hug?" With a laugh, Clary backtracked and wrapped her arms around him, breathing in the scent of his well-worn flannel. Clary knew the hug was more for her than it was for him, but she felt better all the same. Luke pulled away after a minute, his blue eyes meeting her green ones. "You'll be okay kiddo. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you'll have Simon and Magnus…" Luke sighed. "You'll be just fine. Now go. You don't want to keep Simon waiting. He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and watched as she bolted out the front door, before settling back down to finish his coffee. As he listened to the sound of Simon Lewis' van pulling out of their driveway, he couldn't help but wonder if he had just lied to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! So this is Chapter 2. Please don't hesitate with any comments or feedback, as I would love to improve my writing. Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments, all rights belong to Cassandra Clare.**

Magnus was already at the school when Simon and Clary pulled into the parking lot. He was leaning against his car, picking at the black nail polish he religiously put on his nails. He smiled when he caught sight of Simon's van, a smile that gave an almost feline look to his gold-green eyes. "Biscuit," he said as Clary jumped out of the van and wrapped her friend in a hug. "You look well." Magnus pulled back and looked Clary in the face. His expression was serious, but Clary could see the concern and protectiveness in his eyes. "Are you sure you want to be here?" "Coming to school is easier than being at my house." Magnus sighed but didn't say anything else. Instead, he began walking towards the school, Simon and Clary at his heels. They walked in silence, only stopping when they got to the football field. That was where they saw it. Clary had known it would be there, had expected it in fact. What she hadn't expected was that it would be the first thing she saw. Or that seeing it would hurt so much. The memorial. She stood there staring at it, not daring to go closer but unable to look away. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the trembling of her hands or the shaking of her breath. She couldn't stop the tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over. "Clary…" She thought Magnus was going to say more, and maybe he would have if the obnoxious roaring of a car engine hadn't cut him off. They turned and caught sight of an unfamiliar black Jeep pulling into the parking lot, and even less familiar people jump out of it. There were three of them; two boys and a girl. Clary's first instinct was that the girl and the older looking boy were related. They had the same dark hair, slim build, and angular features. As they got closer though, Clary could see the differences between the two of them. Where the girl's eyes were a brown so dark they were almost black, the boy's eyes were a deep, sea blue. Where the girl was all confidence and poise, the boy's posture was awkward and unsure. Clary's eyes slowly drifted to the other boy, and all she saw was gold. Perfect blonde hair, tanned golden skin. His eyes, gold like the rest of him, held none of the arrogance and cockiness his posture did, but the expression he wore was unreadable. The three strangers stood just out of earshot, talking, and it wasn't until the girl pointed at them with a perfectly manicured finger at them that Magnus, Clary, and Simon turned to each other, whispering in confused voices. "Who are they?" Simon asked "I have no idea. I've never…" "Excuse me?" Clary turned to see the dark-haired girl, standing a mere few feet away. "I'm Isabelle Lightwood. I just moved here and I was wondering if you could show us where the main office is?" Clary smiled and extended her hand for Isabelle to shake. "Of course. I'm Clary, and this is…" "Lewis," Simon said, shaking Isabelle's hand. "Simon. Simon Lewis. Two first names. Am I still talking?" Isabelle laughed and nodded as Simons' face turned bright red. "I'm Magnus Bane. And you are…?" It took Clary a few moments to realize that Magnus wasn't talking to Isabelle, but to the dark-haired boy that must have been her brother. The boy's eyes widened and he looked around, searching for someone else that Magnus could have been speaking to, before stuttering out his name. "A-Alec. Alec Lightwood." Magnus looked Alec up and down. "Hmm. Lovely." Clary laughed and put her face in her hands. As much as she loved Magnus, he had all the subtlety of a hand grenade. The sound of someone clearing their throat caused Clary to look up, and she saw the golden boy staring at them expectantly. "Sorry," she said, extending her hand. "I'm Clary." "Jace Herondale." The boy - Jace - smiled dryly. He shook her hand then stuffed it back into the pocket of his jeans. Clary waited for him to say more, or even look at her, but when he stayed silent she sighed and turned back to Isabelle. "Come on. The main office is this way."

After Isabelle, Jace, and Alec walked into the main office, Clary and her friends stood in the hallway, waiting, per Isabelle's request. "They seem nice," Simon said, breaking the silence that had settled over the three since Isabelle and the boys left. Magnus scoffed. "Please. You only like Isabell because you think she's hot. Probably just like every guy she has ever met." A blush rose to Simons' cheeks. "That is not true. She really does seem nice. And besides, it's not like you think any differently about Alec." Before Magnus could respond, the door to the office opened and Jace and the Lightwoods stepped out, staring down at their schedules. "Let me see your schedule," Clary said, reaching for Isabelles. The dark haired girl promptly placed it in her hand, and Clary found herself smiling when she realized the two of them had three classes together. "I have first-period Scarsbury, third-period Blackthorn, and sixth period Starkweather with you." The girls smiled at each other before turning to the guys. "We have sixth period Starkweather too." Simon gestured to Magnus, Jace, and himself. Alec, who hadn't said anything, looked confused."There must be something wrong with my schedule then, because you guys are all juniors, right? So how are you taking a senior class?" "Actually, I'm a senior," Magnus spoke, stepping closer to Alec, who shifted uncomfortably. "These brainiacs are just taking an AP class." Clary was about to fire back with a snarky retort when the schedule she had taken from her backpack was snatched out of her hands. "Hey….." She closed her mouth on the angry response when she realized it was Jace, holding his schedule and her side by side. It was only a minute before Jace looked up and handed hers back to her. "We have 2nd period AP Lang with together." he deadpanned. Clary smiled at him, but he didn't return it. Instead, he turned and walked toward Alec, bending his head to glance at the other boy's schedule. "Whats his problem?" Simon asked, and Clary could tell from the expression on her best friends face that she wasn't the only on Jace was ignoring. "Clary!" She turned at the sound of her name and was immediately bodyslammed by a small, energetic blonde. It was Maureen Brown, a freshman and one of the few fans of Simon's band, Rock Solid Panda. She was tiny, with skin as pale as her hair and big, chocolate brown eyes that, at that moment, were lit up with excitement. "Oh my god! I didn't think you were going to be here. I'm so sorry about Jonathan. How are you? Are you okay?" Clary huffed out a breath, overwhelmed. "I'm fine Maureen, thanks." She flashed the girl a half-hearted smile and prayed that it was convincing. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Magnus giving her a look, and she knew she wasn't fooling him. It was enough to convince Maureen though, and for now, that was good enough. "That's awesome! Because I was worried that…." "Okay!" Magnus cut the girl off and gently pulled Clary away. "It was wonderful talking to you Maureen, but we really need to get to class." Without another word, he spun, taking Clary with him and began walking towards the English buildings on the opposite side of the school. "Thank you." was all Clary could manage to say.

Clary looked like she was about to cry, or panic, or both. As he followed her and the others away from the main office, Jace couldn't help but feel bad for her. The grief-stricken look on her face was a look he knew all too well. At the same time, he had never been more confused. Who was Jonathan? What happened to him? He exchanged glances with Izzy and Alec, finding the same expression he wore on their faces. Neither of them had any clue what Maureen had been talking about either. He had opened his mouth to ask when Simon spoke. "Clary, you don't have to be here. I'll take you home." Clary rolled her eyes and Jace almost laughed. "Simon, it's the first day of school. Skipping would be ridiculous. Despite the fact that Clary was considerably shorter than all of them - so short that the top of her head barely reached Jaces shoulder - she had an expression on her face that almost dared Simon to disagree with her. "Nobody would blame you biscuit." Magnus chimed in. "It's only been a few months…." The challenging look on Clarys face disappeared and was replaced by one of annoyance. "Look, guys, I appreciate the concern, but I'm not going home. I can't just sit there, moping for the rest of my life, I have to do something. So I am going to walk into every single one of my classes and the only thing I'm going to be miserable about is the fact that I have homework on the first day." With that, she turned and walked away, disappearing into the gym with the swarm of students that had started to stampede into the building. Magnus laughed, almost bitterly. "She's determined, I'll give her that." Jace and his siblings just stared, completely lost. Magnus caught their eyes and sighed, glancing at his phone. "It's a long story. That we don't have time for because we have to get to class." He put his phone back in his pocket and flashed a smile at Alec. "I'll see you later." Jace and Isabelle couldn't help but laugh at the flabbergasted look on Alec's face. When Simon and Magnus were out of earshot, Jace clapped his brother on the shoulder. "You are the one that said this could be fun." Alec opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I….I…." Jace just laughed before glancing at his schedule and walking towards the math building. As he walked, he thought about Clary and the encounter with Maureen outside the office. Though Alec's reaction to Magnus's flirting had been funny, Jace had a feeling that that wouldn't be the only interesting thing that happened this year.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, I'm back with Chapter 3! Just heads up, I am mixing parts of the show in with the books, like Simon writing his own songs. Mild swearing in this chapter. Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments, nor do I own the songs used in this chapter, all rights belong to Cassandra Clare, Brendon Urie, and Alberto Rosende. Enjoy!**

Clary stood on the football field, gazing down at her brothers memorial. It had been nearly a month since school started, and this was the first time she had ever actually stood in front of it. She had seen it but hadn't been able to come close to it until now. It was small, a simple picture of Jon in his football jersey, surrounded by photos and notes placed there by friends and teachers, flowers and candles that had long since wilted or burnt out. Clary felt her eyes widen as they landed on a photo from almost a year ago. It had been taken almost a year ago on Halloween at one of the only parties Clary had ever gone to. She sat on a battered, brown leather couch with Jon, his girlfriend at the time, Seelie, and Sebastian Verlac. It had been his first year at Idris High School and he had become fast friends with her brother. Soon after, he became the first boyfriend Clary ever had. Clary couldn't believe how stupid she had been. She had trusted Sebastian, loved him even, and now her brother was dead. The joke was on her right? "Hey." Clary glanced over her shoulder and stared in disbelief. Standing behind her was Jace. Since Clary had met him and the Lightwoods at the start of school, she had become good friends with Isabelle and even Alec. The only people Jace ever really spoke to were Alec and Izzy. "What are you doing here?" she asked and immediately felt stupid. It was Thursday, of course, he would be at school. Jace laughed and it seemed genuine, which surprised her. "I had a doctors appointment and missed my first couple of classes. I saw you and thought I'd find out what we did in English." He adjusted his backpack strap on his shoulder and looked at her, waiting. "Um….we just read the next three chapters of the book. We have a quiz on them tomorrow." He nodded, his eyes drifting to the memorial. Several moments passed before he spoke again. "Did you know him?" Clary bit her lip. "Yeah, he's….he _was_ my brother." Jace stared at her, stunned. She expected him to apologize or look at her with pity like most people did. That didn't happen. Instead, he said, "My brothers dead too." Clary frowned. Izzy had never mentioned having a third brother. "How long?" she asked. "A year." Jace sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "He had leukemia, so we knew it was coming, but it still sucks." He paused for a moment. "The worst part isn't even that he's gone; its that nobody in my family talks about him anymore, like he never existed. My mom is trying to pretend like she's fine, but there are nights when I'll walk past her room and I can hear her sobbing. Robert is always gone on business, and even when he isn't, he's out doing God only knows what, and Alec and Izzy….God, they can't even say his name. Its like when he died…." "He took everything with him." The words came out of Clary's mouth before she could stop them, and again Jace looked at her in surprise. The feeling was mutual. For months she had felt so completely and utterly alone with her grief, and she wanted nothing more than for someone to understand. And here was Jace Herondale, a boy who knew her pain all too well. "My mom stopped talking. She doesn't even come out of her room anymore and I just…. I wish I could do or say something to get her to talk to me, to realize she isn't the only one that's grieving…." Her voice trailed off. "And for me, it isn't like he never existed, it's that he's everywhere. Some shops have his picture hung up in the windows, Coach Scarsbury hung his jersey in the gym, his friends stop me in the hallways, telling me how sorry they are, and people in the neighborhood keep asking me how I am… I must have said 'I'm fine, thanks.' a hundred thousand times and I haven't meant it once. Clary stopped, shaking her head and laughing bitterly. "I just want to move on." She said it so quietly it was almost to herself, but from the look on Jace's face, she knew he had heard her. The two stood on the field in silence until the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. As they began walking back towards the school for fifth period, Jace glanced at the redhead. "What happened to him? Your brother?" "Oh, um, he was killed in a car accident last June. He and his best friend, Sebastian were at a party to celebrate 'making it to senior year' and they had been drinking. Sebastian convinced Jon that he was okay to drive and he ended up driving his car off Blackfriars Bridge. Sebastian made it out with a few broken ribs, but my brother…."Clary sighed "I have never felt more betrayed by anyone than I did by Sebastian. I mean he was Jon's best friend, my boyfriend, why didn't he think…. I'm sorry that was too much." Jace laughed and again, Clary was surprised at how genuine it was. "Hey I asked." They stopped once they reached Clarys fifth period, and she felt disappointment building in her chest. "Well, this is me." she said, gesturing to the closed chemistry room door. Jace nodded. "Look, I know I'm probably not the best person to be giving you advice on this, but it does get easier. When Max died, I thought the pain would never end, but eventually it stopped hurting so much." He pause, his golden eyes thoughtful. "You wont be sad forever Clary. I promise." Clary smiled before turning to walk into her classroom. "Thank you Jace." "Anytime." Then he spun on his heel and disappeared into a classroom down the hall.

The next day Jace walked into the cafeteria, not searching for Alec and Izzy as he normally did, but for Clary. He couldn't believe what had happened on the field yesterday, didn't even know where it had come from, but he wanted to talk to her again. He finally found her at the other end of the room, sitting by herself with a sketchbook in her lap. He walked over and stood at the other end of her table, waiting for her to look and notice him. Her eyes were fixed on the sketchbook though, and he waited a moment before taking the seat across from hers. "Hey." Clary jumped, but a grin spread across her face when she realized it was him. "Hey." She pulled the single earbud she had in her left ear and set it down on the table on top of her sketchbook, still open to the page she had been sketching. Jace glanced down at it and was amazed by what he saw. It was a sketch of Simon Lewis, bent over an acoustic guitar and singing song lyrics unknown to Jace. He tapped his index finger against the page. "This is really good." Clary flushed and pulled the drawing away from him, closing it so he could only see the black cover. "Thanks. Do you draw?" Jace shook his head, feigning horror. "No. No, no. I can barely draw a stick figure. Piano is more my wheelhouse." Clary laughed at his stick figure comment. "What type of songs do you play?" she asked. "There is some modern stuff that I like, but my father was a firm believer in the classical genre, so that where most of my knowledge is." He could see the confusion on Clary's face. "When you say your father, is that your biological father?" Jace shook his head again. Isabelle must have told her that he was adopted, though it wasn't hard to guess. "No, um, the man I lived with before the Lightwoods, he taught me. I never knew my biological father." Clary quickly changed the subject. "What do you like about it? The music?" Jace considered this for a moment. "I love the feeling I get when I play and, I don't know, piano was something that my dad loved and playing is how I stay close to him." Clary was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again, she was fidgeting with her earbuds. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It was my mom that got me into drawing that was what kept us close." She stopped fidgeting and huffed out an exasperated breath as Jace remembered what she had said yesterday. That her mom stopped talking, stopped getting out of bed even. The thought made Jace angry. He resented Robert Lightwood for leaving him and the rest of his family alone with their grief over Max, for deserting them when they needed him most, and now Clary's mother was doing the same thing too her. He knew that Clary wasn't helpless, but she wasn't invincible either. "What about your brother, was he an artist too?" Clary smiled. "No. Not at all. Football was Jons thing and," she waved the silver iPod that was connected to her earbuds in the air. "music. He loved it." Jace picked up one of the earbuds and stuck it in his ear. "What are you listening to?" Clary hesitated before picking up the other earbud and hitting play. Jace felt a grin spread across his face as he recognized the lyrics to Panic at the Discos 'Nicotine.'

 _Cross my heart and hope to die,_

 _Burn my lungs and curse my eyes._

 _I've lost control and I don't want it back_

 _I'm going numb, I've been hijacked_

 _It's a fucking drag._

Clary watched him warily, as though she were embarrassed by her choice of music, and Jace chuckled to himself before pulling the earbud out of his ear and setting it back down on Clary's sketchbook. "That band is one of my favorites." "Really?" Clary asked. "Yeah, Alec and I used to listen to them all the time…." he paused, trying to gauge whether or not making fun of her was a good idea. " when we were, like, twelve." Clary scoffed and reached across the table, punching him in the arm. Jace laughed and put his hands up in surrender. "Okay. Okay. I'm sorry." Clary rolled her eyes. "You are such a jerk." By the way, she was grinning, Jace could tell she wasn't really offended. "Seriously though, Panic at the Disco is great. What other music do you listen to?" Clary shrugged. "It depends on the day. Mostly it's My Chemical Romance, Twenty-One Pilots. Anf then there's Simons band…." "Hold on." Jace cut her off, not able to believe what he was hearing. "Simon is in a band?" Clary nodded. "Yeah. They do more sitting and arguing over band names than actually playing, and some of their stuff is actually really good. But I think the stuff Simon does solo is better." Jace chuckled under his breath. "This I gotta see." This time, Clary didn't hesitate in scrolling through her iPod to find the exact song she wanted. Jace waited a moment before an electronic beat sounded through the earbuds she had passed him.

 _Got a drop in my throat, chill in my bones,_

 _When no ones around._

 _See a light in a flare, nobody there._

 _They don't hear a sound._

 _Oh, the burden that I face,_

 _Inside every night._

 _I'm a stranger when I wake, wake up in your eyes._

 _When the world I've come to know,_

 _Is a replica of our own,_

 _Forever alone_

"You're right, that was really good." Jace watched Clary as she shut off her iPod and wound the earbuds around it, throwing it down on the table in front of her. "Whats it called?" Clary pointed at the iPod. "That song was called 'Fragile World'." "Betrayal!" Jace looked up to see four boys standing behind Clary. The one who had spoken, a dark-haired boy in ripped jeans and a dark t-shirt, threw himself down in the seat next to Clary with a dismayed shake of his head. "You should be promoting the band as a whole, Fray, not just Simon." Clary rolled her eyes. "Simon is my best friend. It's my job to promote him." "What exactly are you promoting me for?" Said best friend suddenly appeared from around the corner tailed by Magnus, and to Jace's surprise, Alec and Izzy. He knew that Alec and Magnus had been getting close since the start of school, but Simon and Isabelle….they were the last people Jace had expected to become friends. "I was just showing Jace some of your music." Clary said scooting closer to the dark haired boy she had 'betrayed' to make room for Simon and Izzy on her other side. "So you're the famous Jace?" the dark-haired boy asked, extending his hand. "Yeah, that's me." "Cool man. I'm Jordan. This is Matt, Eric, and Kirk." He gestured to the three guys he had come in with. "We're in the band with Simon. Speaking of, dude," he exclaimed, smacking Simon on the shoulder. "I talked to Principal Penhallow, and she agreed to let us play here tomorrow night." Jace frowned. "Whats tomorrow night?" "The Halloween dance," Clary said. Jace looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "Are you going?" Clary smiled, her chin propped on her hand. "I don't know, but I could be talked into it." Jace opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Isabelle jumped in. "Yes, come, please. You could come over to my house before and I could help you get ready." Clary looked terrified at the aspect and Jace couldn't blame her. Isabelle wore a lot of makeup, though she looked good with or without it, and Clary wore none at all. If he was being honest, Jace thought she was beautiful without it. "Please…." Isabelle looked at Clary with pleading eyes and she sighed, giving in. "Okay, fine." "Yes!" Isabelle jumped up from her seat and ran to wrap her arms around the other girl. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Clary shoved her off with a grin. "I better not regret this."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, I'm back with Chapter 4! Enjoy!**

When Clary pulled into the Lightwoods driveway on the day of the dance, she almost didn't get out of her car. Why had she let herself get talked into this? After a moment, she sighed and forced herself out of her old black sedan, dreading every step across the driveway to the door. It wasn't that she didn't want to go to the dance or be with her friends; it was that Isabelle had texted Clary right before she left her house, telling her not to bring a costume because she had the 'perfect' one. And considering the clothes Izzy wore, Clary thought that her fear was justified. She only had to wait a few seconds after knocking on the door before it was opened by none other than Jace. Clary looked him up and down and, not seeing any sign of a costume on him, raised her eyebrows. "What are you supposed to be?" Jace grinned at her, and she laughed when she caught sight of the plastic vampire fangs in his mouth. "Oh, I see. Very original." Jace rolled his eyes and pulled the fangs out of his mouth so he could speak. "Well, I don't see a costume on _you_ …." "That's because Izzy has it." Jace nodded and stepped out of the way, letting Clary into the house. Once the door closed behind her, Jace bounded up the stairs to his sister, letting her know that Clary was here. While she waited, Clary wandered into the living room, finding Alec and Magnus sitting side by side on the couch, listening to something on Alec's phone. Magnus, like Jace, hadn't put much thought into his costume. He wore black skinny jeans and a t-shirt of the same color, with his black hair styled up in its usual spikes and silver rings covering every finger on both of his hands. This, however, was similar to what Magna wore every day. The only difference was the cat's eye contacts he wore, in a green similar to the original color of Magnus's eyes. Alec was not dressed up at all, though Clary wasn't surprised by this. Alec didn't really seem like the Halloween type. "Can I get you anything?" Jace asked, coming up behind her. Both Alec and Magnus looked up, and Clary couldn't help but notice that Alec shifted away from Magnus ever so slightly when he saw Jace and Clary there. "Thanks, but I'm good." Clary glanced around the house, taking in the beauty of its obvious age. The grainy pine wood floors that matched the exposed beams in the ceiling were covered by an enormous blue Persian rug. There was a fire burning in the grey stone fireplace and the white painted walls were covered in gorgeous oil paintings. Suddenly, the front door opened and in walked a woman that looked like an older version of Isabelle. She had her arms full of shopping bags and when she saw the four teenagers in the living room, she froze. "Oh, I didn't realize we had company. Someone should have called me, I would have come home sooner." She set the bags down on the ground and embraced Alec, who had stood from the couch when she walked into the house. "Hello Magnus, it's wonderful to see you again." The woman flashed him a warm smile before turning to Clary. "And who's this? I don't believe we've met before." "Mom, this is Clary. Clary, this is my mother, Maryse." Jace said, "Clary goes to school with all of us." Maryse smiled again, and Clary saw that her and Alec's smiles were the same. "Well, it's very nice to meet you, Clary. Are you going to the dance with Isabelle and the boys?" "Yeah, I'm just waiting for Isabelle." At that exact moment, Izzy came flying down the stairs and into the living room. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had to finish getting ready." She stood in front of Clary with her arms spread wide. "How do I look?" "Gorgeous as always." Isabelle had dressed up as a devil, in a short red dress and pumps, complete with horns and a tail hanging down from the back of her belt. "Great. Now we have to get you ready." Isabelle grabbed ahold of Clary's wrist and hauled her up the stairs towards her room. When Clary glanced back at Maryse and her friends, she could see Jace mouthing the words 'Good luck.'

It turned out that the costume Izzy had picked out for Clary wasn't that atrocious. She was dressed a Isabelle's celestial counterpart, an angel in a white, spaghetti strap maxi dress with feathered angel wings pinned to the back. The heels Izzy had put her in were also white, but small, and her makeup had been kept to a minimum, much to Clarys relief. Izzy was just putting the last few pins in the buns she had twisted Clary's hair into when they heard Alec call to them from downstairs. "Isabelle, let's 've been up there for over an hour." Isabelle didn't respond, just rolled her dark eyes. "My brother is so impatient." Clary thought back to earlier when Alec had been sitting on the couch with Magnus and bit her lip. "Iz… is Alec gay?" The other girl froze, staring at Clary in the mirror with a horrified expression. "How did you know?" "I didn't. I just guessed." Isabelle sighed, turning her attention back to Clary's hair. "Jace and I are the only ones that know, and,well, Magnus knows too. Alec has been seeing him for a while now, but he's terrified to tell my parents because my dad is extremely homophobic."Clary felt a pang of sympathy for Alec. He should have to hide who he was because he was afraid of his dad. The two fell silent as Izzy place the last bobby pin in Clary's hair then stepped back to admire her handy work. "There, all finished. We should probably go downstairs before my brother loses it." Clary thanked Izzy and had stood to leave the room when Izzy spoke again. "You can't tell anybody about my brother, okay?" "I won't." Clary assured her, and Isabelle nodded, her blood red lips pressed into a thin line. Clary walked from the room slowly, trying very hard to keep her balance in her heels. She hadn't even reached the end of the hallway when she heard Jace complaining to Izzy, who had walked downstairs at twice Clarys pace. "Finally, you guys were taking forev…." He stopped once he saw Clary, his mouth hanging open like a fish. "You…. you look amazing." Clary could feel herself blush as she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Thanks. You ready to go?" Jace squinted, looking her up and down as if something was missing. "Yeah, just one thing…." He reached over and carefully pulled the bobby pins from Clary hair, causing her curls to fall down her back in an unruly wave. "Your hair looks better when it's down." She blushed again and Jace strode over to the door, opening it with a flourish. "After you mademoiselle."

Clary had never seen the school's cafeteria so decked out. Spider webs and bats hung from the ceiling, artificial fog concealed the floor from view, and hundreds of the school's students that had dressed up in their costumes had gathered on the dance floor. "This is so cool." Isabelle said, appearing behind her with a massive grin on her face. "Yeah, it really is." Clary agreed. "Come on let's go dance." Izzy grabbed Clary's wrist and dragged her towards the dance floor in front of the stage where Simon and his band were setting up. Clary and Izzy danced through several songs, playing through speakers hooked up to the ceiling, before the squealing feedback from the microphone Jordan was holding made them and the other dancers stop. "Hey everyone, happy Halloween!" the students cheered. "We're Rock Solid Panda, and we'll be your _killer_ entertainment tonight. Hit it!" Clary felt and hand on her shoulder and whirled around to see Jace, smirking at the fact that he had startled her. "Hey." He turned to his sister. "Sorry, I'm stealing your dancing partner." Clary raised her eyebrows. "You are, are you?" Jace held his hand out to her. "Dance with me….please." Cary glanced at Isabelle, unsure, and the raven-haired girl rolled her eyes in an exasperated manner. "Go, I'll be fine." "Are you sure?" Isabelle shoved Clary in Jace's direction, hard. "Oh my God, _yes_ , go, you're ridiculous." Clary chuckled before following Jace closer to the stage. "I meant what I said earlier, you really do look amazing." Clary smirked at him. "Yeah well don't get used to it Herondale. I'll be back in my jeans and oversized t-shirts by tomorrow." "I didn't say I minded that." Clary was completely speechless. The Jace she had gotten to know since he had moved to Idris had been cold and standoffish, but this Jace seemed almost….happy. Suddenly, he spun her around and, being uncoordinated even without heels and a long dress, Clary slipped and began to fall. Jace's arm went around her back, catching her before she hit the ground, and when she looked up at him, he was smiling down at her arrogantly. "Falling for me already huh?" He pulled her upright and shrugged. "I guess I have that effect on women." Clary rolled her eyes. "You give yourself way too much credit." "I think its deserved. I mean look at me."As he gestured up and down his body, Clary couldn't help but laugh. So Jace was one of those guys. "Clary!" Clary couldn't believe who she saw when she turned around. It was Jon's girlfriend, Seelie. She and Jon had dated on and off for two and a half years before he died, and she had been one of the few friends of Jon's that Clary had actually liked. "Hey!" She wrapped her arms around the tall, slim redhead. "What are you doing here?" A school dance was the last place she had expected Seelie to be. "I came with Kaelie. I thought it would be better than spending Halloween alone at my house." As she spoke the last sentence, Clary could see pain flash across her face, and she realized that Seelie hadn't been at school since it started. "I'm going to go get something to drink." Jace said. "You want anything?" Clary nodded, feeling a little bad. She had completely forgotten he was there. When he was out of sight, Clary turned back to Seelie. "How are you?" The other girl sighed. "I would be a lot better if the people around me would stop whispering in quiet voices and telling me it was okay to grieve." Clary felt a pang of sympathy for her. Not only had Jon been Seelie's boyfriend, but she and Sebastian Verlac had been friends since they were little kids. "Have you gone to see him? Sebastian?" Tears began to form in Seelies crystalline blue eyes. "Yeah, once." There was a long pause as she tried to compose herself. "I just wanted an answer. I wanted to know why he thought that getting in that car was a good idea, but he just looked at me like he didn't even know who I was." Seelie furiously wiped her hands under her eyes. "Anyway, I'm coming back to school on Monday." "Really?" "Yeah, I think its time." Clary nodded. "Well, it will be good to have you back. I need more of my friends around." Seelie grinned at her mischievously. "It looks like you already have some." She flicked her eyes to where Jace was standing, talking to Coach Scarsbury. "You guys look good together." Clary was taken aback. "Jace and I aren't dating." Seelie shrugged. "That's to bad. You're a catch." She paused. "I should go find Kaelie. It was really good to see you again." Clary hugged her once more. "You too. See you on Monday." After Seelie was gone, Jace returned with two glasses of lemonade and a concerned look on his face. "You okay?" "Yeah. I'm fine." Clary knew that Jace could see right through her lie, but he didn't press her on it. "What were you talking to Coach Scarsbury about?" Jace took a sip of his drink. "He wants me to try out for the soccer team this spring. I'm going to try and convince Alec to do it with me." He was looking over Clarys shoulder as he spoke, and Clary followed his gaze to where Alec and Magnus were sitting at a table, talking."I haven't seen him that happy in a long time." Jace said sadly. "Isabelle told me that you know, about Alec. Look he may be my brother but he's also my best friend and it would kill me to see him get hurt, so you can't…." Clary already knew what he was going to say before he said it. "I wont tell anyone Jace. And besides, I don't think its me you need to worry about." She pointed to the table,where Alec was not only sitting with Magnus, but kissing him. Jace looked dumbstruck for a moment, then he chuckled. "I guess you're right."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, here's Chapter 5. Enjoy!**

The next couple of months passed by in a blur for Jace. Everyday was the same. Wake up, go to class, come home, go to sleep. Wake up, go to school, come home, go to sleep. The only thing Jace really looked forward to was lunch, because that was when he saw Clary. They spent the entire lunch period talking, and had become really good friends. Now it was April, and they were talking about the soccer tryouts after school. "You and Alec are going to do great. I've seen you practice and you're both really good. Coach has to let you on the team." Jace scoffed. "Of course we'll do great. I mean how can we not?" Clary just rolled her eyes. "You still coming to Java Jones later right?" Jace nodded. Lately, he and Clary had taken to spending their weeknights studying at Java Jones, a small coffee shop in town that Clary loved. They had been spending a lot of time together recently, with Simon always working on his music or hanging out with Isabelle, and Alec spending most of his time with Magnus. "Yeah, I don't know what time I'll be there though because of tryouts." "Alright. Has Alec decided when he's going to tell your mom?" Jace sighed. Ever since the Halloween dance, everyone at school knew that Magnus and Alec where dating, and Alec felt comfortable enough that he had decided he was going to at least tell his mom. The problem was getting him to actually do it. "He says he's going to do it tonight after tryouts, but I don't think he's going to." Clary glanced up from her sketchbook, green eyes thoughtful. "Well, I mean, its understandable. He's scared." Jace sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Iknow. I just think that he'll feel so much better if he gets it over with. That way he won't have to sneak around anymore." Anger had slowly begun to drip into Jace's voice, but Clary wasn't phased. It wasn't her Jace was angry at, it was Robert Lightwood. Jace hated the fact that his brother had to hide who he was because he was afraid of a father that wasn't even there. He had no doubt in his mind that if Alec told Mayse that she would understand, but he also knew that there had been a time when Maryse had told her husband everything. Clary reached across the table and grasped Jaces hand. "He'll figure it out Jace." He remained silent, staring intently at his thumb as it traced circles on the back of her hand. It was a long time before he spoke again. "Hey, Alec, Izzy, and I are taking Simon and Magnus up to our cabin in Brocelind Forest for Spring Break. You should come with us." Clary looked nervous at the suggestion. "As nice as that sounds, I don't know if I can leave my mom. This would be the first time I left since Jon and I just…." Jace watched her as she bottom lip in thought. "Well Luke will be there right?" Clary still looked unsure. "Yeah, I guess." She sighed. "I'll text him and see if he's okay with it." Jace grinned just as the bell rang. "That wasn't a yes," Clary said with a roll of her eyes. "No, but it was close." Clary scoffed at him. "You just want me there so that you aren't fifth wheeling Izzy and the boys the entire time." Jace put his hand over his heart, feigning offense. "That is not true!" Clary rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, whatever." She walked a little ways ahead of him, and Jace had to walk twice as fast to keep up with her. When they got to Clarys fifth period, he stepped in front of her so that they were face to face. "I'm serious. I really do want you there. It wouldn't be right for all of us to spend Spring Break without you." Clary smiled. "I'll think about it." Jace glanced at the clock on the wall above Clarys head. "I have to go. I'll see you later." Clary put her hand over her forehead as if she were going to faint and when she spoke, her voice was distressed. "But you're going to be late! Oh, what am I ever going to do sitting there all alone?" Jace chuckled. "I'm sure you'll do just fine." "I don't know. I think you'll have to kick some serious ass at tryouts make it up to me." Jace shook his head. "You're ridiculous." But as he turned away from her and walked towards his class, he couldn't keep the grin off of his face.

When Alec walked into the house after tryouts, he could not have been in a better mood. He and Jace had both made the soccer team and he had been able to convince Magnus to take a week off of work to go up to his family's cabin for Spring Break. Alec's heart dropped as soon as he saw his mother in the kitchen making dinner. He knew that at some point he had to tell his mom, Jace had said as much to him at tryouts. "At some point, she's going to realize that those bruises on your neck aren't from falling on it." he had said, and while Alec knew he was right, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Every time he tried, he found himself stuttering and unable to find the right words. Magnus had assured Alec over and over that it was fine, that Alec could tell her when he was ready, but it wasn't fine. Alec hated that he and Magnus had to sneak around, that he had to hide his relationship with someone he truly cared about because he couldn't sum up the courage to come out to his mom. Alec's heart dropped even further when his mother looked up and saw him. "Alec! I didn't hear you come in." Se waved him into the kitchen. "Come, I made dinner. Is Jace with you?" Alec shook his head as he sat on a stool behind the counter Maryse was cooking next to. "No, he went to Java Jones with Clary." Maryse laughed. "I should have known. He practically lives at that coffee shop now." Maryse stirred the pot of spaghetti sauce she was standing over and pulled out the spoon, holding it out to Alec. "Here, taste this." Alec took the spoon and ladled some of the sauce into his mouth, nodding in approval as he swallowed. "That's really good." Alec loved it when his mother cooked. When she was gone on business trips, which wasn't often, he and his siblings either had to order takeout or face the nightmare that was Isabelle's cooking. He remembered when he was younger, his mother's solution to everything was food. When Jace had first moved in with them, the only question Maryse had asked the then ten-year-old was what kind of food his father used to make him, and she had made every dish he had listed off, just to make him feel more comfortable. Even now that he was older, Alec always felt better eating his mothers cooking, though tonight it wasn't enough to soothe the pit in his stomach. "So how were tryouts?" Maryse asked. "Good. Jace and I both made the team." Maryse gasped and ran around the counter to throw her arms around her son. "Alec, that's wonderful!" When Alec didn't respond, Marsye pulled away, her dark eyebrows furrowed together in concern. "Whats wrong? I thought you would be excited." "I am, its just…. Mom, I have something to tell you." Maryse sat on the stool next to him and waited. "Are you in some kind of trouble?" Alec shook his head. "No, I just….I…." Alec took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. There was no backing out now. "I'm gay." Maryse was quiet for a long time, and when Alec gathered the courage to look up at her, she was smiling slightly. "I know." Now Alec wasn't afraid of her reaction, just confused by it. "What?" "Alec, I've known since the first time you brought Magnus over here. You have never looked at anyone like that, let alone a girl." She paused. "My only question is, Why are you telling me now? We've lived here for months and you're only just now telling me." Alec sighed and looked down at his hands again. " I couldn't. I couldn't tell you before. I was afraid that you…. That you would…." Alec's voice broke and Maryse put her hand under his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Alec. You are my son and I love you. Gay or straight." " I thought you wouldn't. Dad's made it pretty clear how he feels about people like me." Maryse sighed. "Your father may have his prejudices, but he loves you. Even if he isn't here to tell you himself." There was a bitter edge to Maryse's voice and it wasn't until he saw his mothers dark eyes begin to fill with tears that all the pieces clicked into place. "Mom…. is dad cheating on you?" Maryse gasped and, as hard as she tried to keep her composure, tears began to stream down her cheeks. Her reaction told Alec everything he needed to know. He pulled his mother close and waited in silence as she sobbed into his shoulder. "You cant tell Isabelle or Jace. I can bear it but your sister worships your father and this…. this would destroy her." She pulled away and wiped the mascara-tinted tears off her cheeks with her thumb. "You don't have to stay with him. Jace, Izzy, and I will be fine." Maryse nodded. "The divorce is being finalized next week." The realization hit Alec like a slap. "That's why you wanted us to go up to the cabin." Maryse laughed bitterly. "You kids have been through so much, I didn't want you to see your father and have to suffer more. After everything that happened last year, you deserve a bit of happiness." "So do you." Maryse smiled sadly and brought her hand to the side of Alecs face. "I have you and Jace and Isabelle. That's all I could ever want." Alec knew she was downplaying the hurt she was feeling, but he also knew that she, like him, preferred to deal with her grief alone. Maryse sighed and returned to the sauce on the stove, stirring it almost absentmindedly. The rest of the evening was spent in near silence until Isabelle and Jace came home, and the four of them spent hours sitting in the living room talking. Isabelle raved about how much fun they would have at the cabin next week while Jace was grinning ear to ear about getting a goal around Jordan Kyle at tryouts, and in one of those rare moments since Max died, Alec saw his mother genuinely smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, this is Chapter 6! Disclaimer: I do not own TMI or the song lyrics used in this chapter. All rights belong to Cassandra Clare and Alberto Rosende.**

Jace: **Hey, I'm here.**

Jace sent Clary a text just as he parked in front of her house on Monday morning.

Clary: _Okay, I'll be out in a sec._

Jace: **Take your time.**

Jace sighed and threw his phone down on the center console, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. It was the first day of Spring Break and after much convincing, Clary had finally agreed to go to the cabin with him and their friends. Jace knew that she was nervous about leaving her mom for a week, but he hoped that she would at least have fun on the trip. A minute later, the redhead in question came bounding out of the house, a duffel bag slung over her shoulder. "You ready?" Clary nodded as she got in the passenger seat and tossed her bag in the backseat, looking nervous. Jace watched her as she buckled her seatbelt, and when her expression didn't change he said, "Hey, you don't have to come we'll understand if you want to stay here." Clary shook her head. "No, I want to go. It's been ten months, and for the first time in so long, I actually feel okay **.** Staying at home would be going backward, and going backward isn't good for anyone, so…" She gestured to the street in front of them. "Shall we?" Jace couldn't help but laugh at the determined expression on her face, and he was reminded of the day he had met her when she had stared Magnus and Simon down with the same expression. "Alright." Jace turned the key in the ignition, driving slowly down her street. "Let's go." They drove for about two and a half hours before they reached the cabin, and when the car was stopped, Jace looked over to see Clary staring out the window in amazement. He couldn't blame her. He had been coming to the cabin since he was ten years old and he was still taken aback by the beauty of the forest that stretched for miles everywhere you looked and the allure of the multi-colored rock beach out back. "Did your parents buy this place when you moved here?" Clary asked as she opened the door to the backseat to get her bag. "No. Maryse grew up in Idris and the cabin has been in her family forever. Her parents left it to her when they passed away, and we try to come up as often as we can but...we haven't been since before Max died." Clary smiled sadly and followed him up the porch steps, using her hand to shield her face from the sun. As they stepped inside, Clary could hear the sound of someone strumming chords on a guitar. Simon, most likely. Clary's suspicions were confirmed when she and Jace walked into the living room to find Isabelle sat on an upholstered armchair watching Simon play.

 _But you, ooh you leave me paralyzed,_

 _and you bring me back a thousand times_

 _Oh you, sweeter than your hold over me,_

 _Tainted till you take my breath away_

 _Nightshade, Heeeey_

 _Nightshade, Heeeey_

"New song, Si?" Clary asked, causing both Izzy and Simon to jump. "I….uh, yeah. It's just something I've been playing around with." He scratched the back of his neck and set his guitar down so that it was leaning against the arm of the couch. "When did you guys get here?" "Just a minute ago," Jace answered, taking quick glances in each room before turning to his sister, confused. "Where are Alec and Magnus? I thought you guys drove up with them." "We did, but when we got here the fridge was empty so they went to get food." Jace nodded and threw himself down on the couch with a sigh. He was tired from the drive and knowing that his brother would want to do something when he got back, Jace hoped to get at least a little sleep. "I'm going to go give Clary the tour," Isabelle said, and Jace flashed her a thumbs up. "Sounds good." Once both girls were out of the room, Jace turned to look at Simon. "Whats going on with you and my sister?" Simons' eyes widened. "Nothing. Isabelle and I are just friends." Jace nodded, though he knew the other boy could tell he didn't believe him. "Just remember Lewis, if you hurther, Alec and I will kill you." To Jace's surprise, Simon didn't react to the venom in his voice at all. "Hurting Isabelle is the last thing that I want to do. And besides, a girl like her is way out of my league." Jace was impressed. None of the guys his sister had been with had ever come close to deserving her, only wanting her because they thought she was hot. From the look on Simons' face, Jace could tell he wasn't like that. "You're a good guy Simon." Then he rolled so he was facing the back of the couch, missing the grin on Simons' face.

The inside of the cabin was as beautiful as it was outside. Long, single paned windows covered almost every inch of the walls in the living room, dining room, and kitchen, giving Clary an amazing view of the woods and the beach out Clary looked hard enough, she could see cliffs on the other side of the water and the sight made her fingers itch for her sketchbook and a pencil. The cabin was decorated almost identically to the Lightwoods house in Idris, and Clary had to admire Maryse's knack for design. Oil paintings hung sporadically on the walls and brightly colored rugs that contrasted the neutral furniture covered the wood floors. At the back of the house were four bedrooms, and Clary followed Izzy into the second one on the right. It wasn't as big as Isabelle's room back home, but it was blatantly obvious that it was Izzys. Clothes lay on both twin beds, on the back of the chair in front of the vanity, and on the floor. The vanity itself was covered in makeup and body glitter, its mirror lined with photographs. Most were of Isabelle and friends she must have had in New York, but some were of her and her family. As the raven-haired girl ran around the room, picking things up, Clary caught sight of a picture that showed Izzy, Alec, and Jace sitting on a boat with their arms draped over each other's shoulders. With them sat a little boy with curly, dark brown hair and gray eyes hidden behind thick-rimmed glasses. They were all grinning, and Clary didn't think she had ever seen her friends that happy. "That's my little brother." Izzy pointed to the boy that sat with her in the picture, smiling half-heartedly. "This picture was taken on fourth of July right before he died. He had been so excited because he had managed to push Alec in the lake and eat an entire s'more without getting chocolate on his face. We were just happy that he had been able to leave his hospital room." Izzy sighed. "Anyway, this is where we'll be sleeping. Alec and Magnus are in the master bedroom, Jace is in the room on the left of us, and Simon is on the right." Izzy stopped when the front door opened and they heard Alec's voice. "Hey, could someone give us a hand with these?" Isabelle and Clary left the bedroom and walked back into the living room, where they saw Alec, Magnus, and Simon hauling groceries from the car into the kitchen. Alec looked at the two girls and frowned. "Wheres Jace?" "Sleeping." The girls said in unison. Alec rolled his eyes, grabbed an orange out of one of the bags at his feet, and lobbed it at Jace so it hit him in the spine with a loud smack. "Ow!" Jace rolled over so he was facing them, eyeing Alec and then the orange on the floor with a disgruntled expression. "What time is it?" "A little after two." Jace rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "Why did you throw an orange at me?" Alec shrugged. "I had to wake you up." Jace stared at his brother incredulously. " _So you threw an orange at me?_ You couldn't just wake me up like a normal person?" "I could have, I just didn't want to." Then Alec picked up the bags at his feet and disappeared into the kitchen, with Jace yelling "Did I ever mention how much of an ass you are?" at his back. Clary and Izzy watched the whole exchange while trying to stifle their giggle. Jace glared at them. "It's not funny." "Oh, but it is." Jace suddenly grinned evilly. "Really? So you won't mind if I do _this!_ " He picked the partially smashed orange up off the floor and launched it at Isabelle, splattering her white t-shirt with orange juice. Isabelle scoffed, her mouth open in an astonished 'o'. "You did _not_ just do that," Jace smirked at her condescendingly and Izzy was about to retaliate when Alec came back into the room, followed by Magnus and Simon. "Looks like we got here just in time." Jace frowned. "What do you mean?" Alec handed the flyer he had been holding to him. "The annual fair in Alicante starts tonight." Isabelle's eyes, lit up with excitement, her feud with Jace forgotten. "Oh, we should totally go." The others nodded in agreement and Alec thought for a minute. "It doesn't start till four, so what do you guys want to do till then." Clary thought back to the cliffs she had seen on the other side of the water and walked over to the window to point. "What if we went over there?" Jace smiled at her. "If we're going to the cliffs, you might want to bring a suit." "Why?" "You'll see." Clary didn't like the sound of that at all.

It turned out that Jace wanted Clary to bring a swimsuit so they could go _cliff jumping_. And there Clary stood, staring down at the water thirty-five feet below with a pit in her stomach. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jace nodded. "Positive. Izzy, Alec and I used to do it all the time when we were younger." Clary glanced back at his siblings, who sat on a boulder with Magnus and Simon a few yards away. When Magnus saw her looking in their direction, he gave her an encouraging thumbs up, though it did nothing to soothe her nerves. Magnus knew her well enough to know that something like this was way out of Clary's comfort zone, and she guessed Jace knew it too because he stepped in front of her and looked her in the eyes. "Clary, if I didn't think you were going to come out of this completely fine, I wouldn't let you do it." She sighed and looked from Jace to the water and back again. "Where do I start from?" Jace grinned and backed up so he was halfway between her and her friends, pointing to a spot on the ground. "Here." Clary could hear her friends cheering as she backed up to where Jace was pointed, ran as fast as she could to the edge, and jumped. She dropped like a stone, and as she glanced down at the fast approaching water, he heart flew into her throat. She hadn't expected for the water to be as cold as it was, so the impact was like needles in her skin, but still. She couldn't believe that she had done it. As soon as she came up for air, there was a splash next to her and Jace appeared in all his golden glory. "See. I told you, didn't I?" Clary just rolled her eyes. "Come on," she said, swimming towards the hill they had to climb up to get back to their friends. Jace followed silently, but out of the corner of her eye, Clary could see him watching her. "What?" Jace shook his head. "It's nothing." Clary stopped walking and grabbed him by the arm, stopping him as well. "Tell me," she said, her voice soft. Jace's expression became serious as he tucked a piece of hair behind her hair. "You're beautiful." Clary froze. Jace was the last person she ever expected to say that to her. She couldn't do anything except look at him, at a loss for words, when he started to lean his head towards hers. "Hey!" They sprang apart at the sound of Isabelle's voice and looked to the top of the hill to see her standing with her hands on her hips. "Are you guys coming or not?" Clary nodded, still unable to speak, and without another word to Jace, walked past him and up the hill towards her friend. She couldn't believe what had almost happened. What was she thinking? She and Jace were friends, nothing more. Being anything more could ruin everything, but at the same time, she couldn't shake the voice in her head telling her that if Jace had tried to kiss her, she would have let him. Clary was so distracted that she ran into Isabelle. "You okay?" Clary nodded. "Yeah." "You going to tell me what that was?" Clary bit her right thumbnail. "What do you mean?" Isabelle flashed her a look that said 'Do you really think I'm that stupid?' and Clary sighed. "Jace tried to kiss me." Isabell stopped dead in her tracks. " _What?!_ " Clary just looked at her, continuing to bite her nails. "Did you want him to?" "I don't know. I mean…. I like him. I like being around him, but…." "But you're afraid of getting hurt." Isabelle glanced at the hill where they had left Jace then at Clary, who nodded. "Yeah." Izzy sighed. "Look, I know you know what Jace was like in New York, and he may be a complete and total ass half the time, but he really does care about you." Her voice trailed off. "I've known Jace for seven years, and in all the time I've known him, I've never seen him fall in love, never seen him _like_ anyone. He'd hook up with girls, sure. Girls always fell in love with him, but he never _cared_. It always worried me, and my mom, too - I mean, what kind of teenage boy never gets a crush on anyone? It was like he was always half-awake when it came to other people, and it only got worse after our brother died. But then we met you and it was like he woke up. He has never treated anyone the way he treats you. You couldn't see it because you hadn't known him any different, but I saw it. My mom saw it." Isabelle was quiet for a long time. "Whatever Jace feels for you, I know he means it." Clary smiled. "Thanks Iz." "Hey guys!" Simon shouted, running towards them. "It's almost four, and I'm assuming that you and Jace don't want to go to the fair in your suits." He glanced at his best friend and then over her shoulder, searching for something. "Speaking of, where is Jace?" "Right here." the blonde spoke, appearing from behind some trees. He looked at the three of them, and when his eyes landed on Clary, they lingered there for a moment. His expression was indifferent as though nothing had happened, and after a moment, Jace straightened up and briskly walked past them. When they didn't follow, he turned around, repeating Isabelle's earlier words. "Are you guys coming or not?"

They had been at the fair for a few hours when Isabell decided they needed to eat. The others had agreed and Alec, Magnus, and Simon had gone with Isabelle to grab the food, while Jace and Clary saved them seats at a table. They hadn't talked much since they had almost kissed by the water and after a while, Clary couldn't take the silence anymore. "Jace?" "Hmm?" The golden-haired boy didn't look her way, just continued to stare at the sun as it set over the trees. "I just wanted to apologize for earlier." Jace shook his head. "You don't have to apologize. I understand if you aren't interested." Clary stared at him. "It isn't that. I'm just confused. You're Jace Herondale. You could have any girl in the world, and you chose me. I'm not anything extraordinary. I wear oversized t-shirts and no makeup, I'm not pretty, I don't walk around in high heels with all the confidence in the world…." "Clary." Jace cut her off with an astonished expression on his face. "Do you really think I care about that stuff?" When she didn't answer, he stood from his seat and moved to the one next to her. "I don't. I care about how amazing and funny and kind you are. I care about the fact that, no matter what you can always make me laugh and that when I'm with you, everything is so easy." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "After Max died, I was miserable. But then I met you and you weren't like any other girl I had ever met. You were sweet and compassionate and….real. You never tried to hide who you were, you never tried to hide anything you were feeling and for the first time in so long, I felt okay because there was someone who knew what I felt and wasn't afraid to talk about it. So yeah, I "chose" you, because there isn't any other girl in the world I would want." Clary tried to speak, but as hard as she tried, she couldn't. There were so many things that she wanted to tell him, but she couldn't get the words to come out. So instead, she leaned forward and kissed him. The feeling of his mouth on hers was electric; her hands gripped his arms, pulling him closer to her. Blood was rushing in her ears and the feeling of his heart, pounding as hard and as fast as hers, through his shirt made her dizzy. "Seriously?" They broke apart at the exasperated sound of Alec's voice. "Why can't you heterosexuals control yourselves?" Jace grinned at his brother and threw a fry at him. "Please, like Iz and I don't have to watch you and Magnus makeout at home." Alec's face flushed bright red, and he sat down without another word as Magnus, Simon, and Isabelle snickered. "Clary, taste this!" Isabelle said, thrusting a bottle of pink liquid in Clary's face. "What is it?" Clary asked, glancing at it mistrustfully. "Its some kind of strawberry drink, but its good." When Clary refused, Izzy held it out to her brother. "Jace?" He shook his head. "I am a man and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone, woman, and bring me something brown." "Brown?" "Brown is a manly color. See, Alecs wearing it." Alec looked down at his sweater mournfully. "It was black but then it faded."Jace waved his hand dismissively as Magnus held out the sparkling scarf he had been wearing to his boyfriend. "You could dress it up a bit with this. Just a suggestion." "Resist the urge, Alec," Simon said between chuckles, and Magnus rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his burger. They devoured their food in silence, and once they were finished, decided they had had enough excitement for one day. They all piled into Alec's car, and within seconds of being on the road, Clary had fallen asleep with her head on Jace's shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, I'm back with Chapter 7! You guys may have noticed that I changed the title of the story. I changed it because I didn't think the old title was very good. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!**

Jace was the last one to wake up and when he stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, his eyes immediately fell on Clary. She was leaning against the counter, her hair a hurricane of fiery red curls around her face, and when she saw him she smiled over the top of her coffee cup. Jace grinned and he had to physically restrain himself from striding across the room and kissing her. "Sleeping Beauty finally awakens," Alec said sarcastically. "It's still early." Alec shook his head and held his phone in front of Jace's face. "It's not early, it's after eleven. See?" "I see that dad is texting you." Alec pulled his phone back towards him, anger written over his features, and punched in a text with more force than necessary as he sat down on a stool by the kitchen island. "Ask him when he's coming to Idris," Isabelle said. This seemed to piss Alec off even more, though Jace couldn't understand why. "Dad isn't coming to Idris." Everyone in the room fell silent, glancing from Alec to Isabelle, who was looking at her brother as though he were being particularly dense. "What are you talking about?" She laughed like what Alec had said was a joke, but Jace knew as well as Izzy did that it wasn't. "Dad's keeping his job at the firm in New York and is staying in an apartment." "Why would he do that?" Isabelle's voice shook and Jace could tell she was on the verge of tears. "Because he and Mom are getting a divorce." Isabelle looked like she had been slapped and Jace felt the same way. He knew that Maryse and Robert had drifted apart since Max died, but that happened when parents lost a child. Jace had always assumed that they would work it out. Suddenly, Isabelle turned and stalked out of the room, slamming the front door behind her. Alec stood as though he were going to go after her, but Jace stopped him. "Alec don't. Just let her cool off. She'll come back when she's ready." Alec sighed and put his head in his hands. "How long have you known?" Jace asked. "About a week." At his brother incredulous look, Alec said, "Mom asked me not to tell you. I know that you guys had a right to know but I just…." His voice trailed off and Jace put his hand on Alec's shoulder. "I get it. But you cant protect us from everything." Alec nodded but didn't look at him and Jace sighed. He knew there was nothing he could do or say to make Alec feel better. The five teenagers sat in an uncomfortable silence until Clary, who hadn't made a sound since Jace had come into the kitchen, cleared her throat. "So what do you guys want to do today?" Jace glanced out the long window that served as a wall in their kitchen and saw that despite the gorgeous weather the day before, it was pouring rain, water droplets streaking the glass like clear paint. "I don't know about you guys, but I am not going out in that weather," Magnus said with a gesture to the window. "We have a bunch of movies in the living room." Alec had his phone out again and appeared to be looking at the forecast. "The forecast says that this should be cleared up by tomorrow and besides," he scrubbed his hand over his face with a sigh. "I really don't feel like doing anything today." "I will second that." Jace pushed himself off the counter and began walking towards the living room. "I'm picking the movie." "We are not watching 'I Am Legend' again Jace," Alec said, a warning in his voice. "Oh come on! We haven't watched it in forever." Alec rolled his eyes. "We watched it with Mom last week." As Jace and his brother bickered about what movie to watch, nobody noticed Simon as he slipped out the front door and into the rain.

Simon found Isabelle on the porch swing out front, staring blankly at the rain as it created puddles in the dips of the driveway. "Hey." Isabelle didn't say anything or even look at him. Her only acknowledgment that he was there was her moving so that he could sit beside her on the swing. For a long time, the only sound was the pounding of the rain on the roof, and it was almost peaceful. Simon remembered when he was little and on days when the weather was like this his older sister, Rebecca would drag him outside to play. Simon would protest at first but soon he would find himself having a blast jumping in puddles and laughing as Becky tried to catch raindrops in her mouth. But that was before his father died. That was before Rebecca had gone off to college and before Simon got preoccupied with the band and high school and everything that happened in June. He missed the days when his only problems in the world were getting sick from being out in the rain for too long or his mother being angry at him for tracking mud into the house. "Are you okay?" He knew it was a stupid question, but he didn't know what else to say. Isabelle sighed, "I don't know. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but that doesn't mean I wanted it to." Simon frowned. "What do you mean you knew it was going to happen?" Izzy sighed. "Even before we moved out to Idris, my dad was terrible at showing up for anything. His excuse was always that he had to work, but when I was thirteen, I found out it was because he had found someone…. that wasn't my mom." Simon was stunned. "Woah. Your dad cheated on your mom?" "Yeah. I overheard one of his phone conversations. He would have left my mom but they found out she was pregnant with Max, so he stayed. Now he doesn't have to anymore." A bitterness had crept into Isabelle's voice, and Simon was shocked. Isabelle hadn't ever talked about her dad with anything less than respect in her voice. "Did you tell anyone?" Isabelle shook her head. "Not until now." Simon thought of a younger Isabelle, keeping the secret, hiding it from her brothers and her mom, knowing things about her family that they would never know. The thought made Simon angry. "Did you ever wonder why I'm so different from my brothers? Alec and Jace I mean." Isabelle asked abruptly. Simon blinked. "You mean other than the fact that you're a girl and their not?" Simon had hoped to get a smile out of her and he grinned when he was successful. "No. Not that, you idiot. I mean, they have no problem falling in love. And Max, even though he never had a chance to fall in love, he trusted everyone. As you may have noticed, I don't trust anyone." "People are different," Simon said trying to sound understanding. "That doesn't mean that they're happier than you…" "Sure it does," Isabelle said. "You think I don't know that? Anyway, that's not my point. My point is that I see them giving their hearts away and all I can think about is where love got my mom, and that if I take that chance, the same thing is going to happen to me." The realization hit Simon like a slap. "That's why you pick guys who will never be serious about you. So you never have to be serious about them." Isabelle's eyes shone as she looked at him, but she said nothing. "Isabelle, I know that you are used to guys only wanting you for sex, but I promise you this, whatever this is, means more to me than that. You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else." He moved closer to her and pulled her to his chest. She sat stiffly for a moment but eventually relaxed and wrapped her arms around him, her tears soaking the sleeve of his t-shirt. Once she had calmed down, she pulled back and wiped at her face with her hand. "God, this is so stupid." Simon shook his head. "No, it isn't." He stood and brushed off his jeans, offering his hand to her. "Come on. Let's go inside before your brothers kill each other over DVD's." Isabelle rolled her eyes, but smiled and took his hand anyway. Before they got to the door, Isabelle stretched up on her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Simon." Then she disappeared into the house, leaving Simon starstruck on the porch.


	8. Chapter 8

**So this is Chapter 8. Hope you guys like it!**

The end of the week came too soon for Clary's liking, and before she knew it, they were back on the road heading towards Idris. They stopped by the Lightwoods first as Maryse had invited Clary, Magnus, and Simon over for dinner before started again the next day. Clary knew something was wrong the instant they walked through the door because Maryse was pacing around the living room, worrying at the skin of her bottom lip with her teeth. Her dark eyes, identical to Isabelle's, widen when she saw them. "Oh good, you're home." She gave a worried glance that she didn't understand. "Clary, there's something you should see." Maryse picked up the remote and turned on the TV, which came to life on a mugshot of none other than Sebastian Verlac. Clary froze as a woman she couldn't see spoke. "Breaking news in Idris tonight, high school student Sebastian Verlac is being released from juvie today due to insufficient evidence in the case of vehicular manslaughter that was the cause of his arrest last year. Reports say that Verlac will be returning to classes at Idris High School the Monday following spring break. The family of the man killed in the fatal crash last June has refused to comment on Verlacs release at this time. Jesse Smith, Idris News." Clary couldn't believe it. It felt as if every bit of breath had been knocked out of her lungs and even after Maryse turned the TV off Clary, Magnus and Simon all continued to stare at it in shock and horror. "Clary, who is that?" Isabelle asked, obviously confused. The ice in Clary's veins made it impossible for her to speak. She barely noticed when Simon and Magnus came forward and grasped her hands in theirs. When she finally managed to speak, her voice was barely audible. "That's the man that killed my brother."

Jace, Alec,Izzy, Magnus, and Simon all stood in the kitchen, none of them with any idea of what to say. Clary had stepped outside to call Luke and when she came back into the room she looked frazzled. "What did he say?" Jace asked. "He doesn't want me to come home yet. Apparently there are reporters camping out in front of our house and he doesn't want me anywhere near them." Jace pulled her into a hug and planted a kiss on the top of her head. "It's going to be can stay here if you want to." Clary nodded but didn't say anything, just buried her face in his shoulder. "I just don't understand how the case got dismissed," Simon said angrily, his hands clenched in fists at his sides. "It was proven that Sebastian was drunk when he got behind the wheel that night." Clary shook her head. "The defense is claiming that they found evidence of 'testing irregularities' that called the accuracy of Sebastian's blood test results into question." Magnus began to rant about how ridiculous the whole thing was when he was cut off by the chime of Clarys phone. She picked it up, frowning, then set it back down on the counter in front of her with a sigh. "What is it?" Simon asked "Luke. Principal Penhallow wants to meet with me before school on Monday. Probably to talk about Sebastian coming back." Magnus visibly bristled. "I can't believe they're letting him come back." "Well they don't really have a choice." Clary snapped, then looked down at her hands guiltily. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk about this anymore." Isabelle was about to say something to her when Maryse came breezing into the room, her arms full of plastic bags reading 'The Jade Wolf'. None of them had much of an appetite and after dinner, Simon and Magnus had left. "We'll see you tomorrow Biscuit." Magnus had said before walking out the door, and when her friends had left, Clary excused herself to sleep. Despite her best efforts though, sleep wouldn't come. Around two-thirty in the morning she gave up and, careful not to wake Isabelle, crept downstairs. She poured herself a glass of water, but didn't drink it, just stared as it sat on the counter. "You know, you're not Matilda. You're not going to make the glass tip over just by staring at it." Clary jumped and turned to see Jace standing in the kitchen doorway. "You scared the crap out of me!" Jace just laughed. "Sorry." Clary sighed and pushed her hands through her tangled hair. "I couldn't sleep." "I figured." Jace walked over to the cabinet and pulled out two mugs, putting a partially rusted tea kettle full of water on the stove. Clary watched him as he waited for the water to boil and poured it into the mugs along with the powdered hot chocolate mix he had added earlier. "Marse used to make this for me all the time when I first moved in with them. The key," he said, walking to the fridge. "Is adding milk. It makes it thicker and makes it taste better overall." He handed her a mug and she smiled. "When I was little and I would get upset, Luke would always bring me new art supplies and tell me that I had to make him something out of them. It would take my mind off of whatever I was upset about." She followed Jace into the living room and sat down next to him on the couch. "You really think the world of him don't you?" "He's the only father I've ever known." Jace's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What about your real father?" Clary took a sip of her hot chocolate. She and Jace talked about almost everything but her biological father was something that hadn't ever come up. "I never knew him." Jace's golden eyes watched her curiously. "He took off after I was born and I haven't seen him since, not even at Jon's funeral." She paused, glancing out the window behind Jace at the stars. "Luke and my mom got married when I was eleven and even though we weren't his kids, he always loved and took care of me and my brother like we were. I couldn't imagine a world without him in it." Jace smiled. "I know what you mean." His expression was nostalgic and Clary noticed that he was fiddling with a chain around his neck. She had noticed that he did it when he was lost in thought, almost subconsciously."What happened to your biological parents?" Jace drew the something out from underneath the hem of his shirt slowly. On the chain around his neck was a silver ring, monogrammed with an 'H' and a pattern of flying birds. Herons, Clary thought. "This is the only thing that I have of my fathers. I don't have anything of my moms." "Herondale." Clary said, tapping her nail against one of the birds on the ring. Jace nodded. "I only know what my social worker told Maryse. Apparently my dad was a Marine and he was killed on a deployment. When my mom found out, she committed suicide and our neighbor, Michael Wayland, took me in because I had nowhere else to go." She heard the soft creak of leather as Jace shifted his weight on the sofa. "When I was ten, he died and I was sent here and this is where I've been ever since." He sighed and topped off the last of his hot chocolate, setting the empty mug on the coffee table. "I'm sorry Jace." He just shrugged, a half-smile on his face. "Don't be. Being sent here was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And besides, Michael gave me a lot. A home, a family, taught me how to play piano. He was my father in every way that mattered and that's how I want to remember him, not as a tragedy." They were quiet for a long time and Jace turned to follow Clarys gaze out the window towards the stars. "When we lived in Brooklyn, on nights I couldn't sleep, Maryse and I would sit on the balcony and look up at the sky. You couldn't always see the stars, but there's nothing as beautiful as the view of the city we had from the apartment….except you." Clary rolled her eyes and rested her head against his chest. She could hear the beat of his heart under her ear and something about it was almost comforting. "Do you miss it? New York?" Jace thought for a moment. "Sometimes, but I'm glad we came here. Because if we hadn't I never would have met you." Clary smiled, remembering when her mom and Luke had first gotten together and she had asked her mother how she knew she loved him. "When you love someone," she had said, "it's like having a best friend, only more. You can talk to them about anything because they love you exactly as you are. Your happier when your with them and they make you a better person. No, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself, but you do it because they inspire you." Almost as an afterthought, she said, "When you find someone who tries their hardest to stick with you no matter how difficult you are, keep them. Keep them because finding someone who cares enough to look past your flaws isn't something that happens everyday."Sitting on the couch with Jace now, Clary knew her mother had been right. She never would have gotten through the past few months if it hadn't been for Jace. Jace who, at times, seemed to understand her better than anyone. Jace, who made her feel beautiful and smart and happy; things she hadn't felt in a long time. "What are you thinking about?" Jace asked, pulling Clary out of her reverie. "That I'm glad I met you. After everything that happened with Sebastian, I told myself that I was better off alone. But then I met you. You came into my life when I needed someone and I fell for you instantly. I keep expecting that I'll wake up one day and this will all have been a dream." Jace put his hand under her chin so that she was looking into his eyes. "This is real, Clary. This is you and me. Here and now." She leaned over and kissed him briefly. "I know." Jace settled down deeper into the couch, pulling Clary close to him again. "I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow." "You will." Jace yawned midway through the sentence and Clary could tell by the way his voice quieted that he was falling asleep. "Besides, I'll be there and so will the others. If Sebastian tries to go near you we'll kick his ass…." Clary smiled and though the words were thoughtful, they did nothing to ease her anxiety. Eventually, Jace's breathing evened out and she knew he was , however, fought to keep her eyes open because she knew that if she closed them she would open them again and have to face tomorrow.

Clary sat down next to Jace in the cafeteria with a sigh, putting her head down on the table and causing Izzy to laugh. "I'm guessing that your meeting with Principal Penhallow went well." Though she knew the comment was sarcastic, Clary groaned again anyway. "She basically called me in there to tell me that if there are any problems between me and Sebastian on campus, she'll have no choice but to suspend me." Magnus looked angry but Clary held her hand up, stopping his rant before the words even left his mouth. "Magnus, don't, it doesn't matter. The only thing I'm worried about now is getting home." The reporters that Luke had warned her about the night before hadn't only come to her house but had followed her to school and though they weren't allowed on school property, they were as close as they could get. Looking out the window, Clary could see them standing on the sidewalk outside the student parking lot, anxiously waiting for her to walk outside so they could shove their cameras in her face. Jace put his arm around her and out of the corner of her eye, Clary saw Isabelle smirk. She had been the one to find Clary and Jace asleep and had not-so-politely woken them up by flicking the living room lights on and off. "I brought my bike today," Jace said, twisting a lock of Clary's hair around his finger. "I could take you around the back and drive you home using Boden Street." Clary frowned. "I thought you had practice before the game." "We do but I should be able to make it back to the Accords Hall in time." The Accords Hall was the stadium the high school used for its games, and it was also on the other side of town from Clary's house. There was no way Jace would have time to drive her home and get back to the Hall in time for practice, even with his bike. "No. Coach Scarsbury will kill you if you're late." Jace started to protest but Clary stopped him. "It's the first game of the season. You have to get to practice on time." Alec gave his brother a pointed look. "She's right." Clary had a smug look on her face as she turned to Isabelle. "Would you be able to drive me home? I just want to drop my stuff off and say hi to my mom before we go to the game." Izzy nodded, covering her mouth with her hand so she could finish chewing the carrot she had just bitten into. "I'm parked in the back lot so they," she jerked her head towards the group on the sidewalk. "won't see us leave." Jace mouthed a 'thank you' to Isabelle before turning back to his girlfriend. "You don't have to go to the game today." Clary poked him in the chest, not unkindly. "And you don't have to keep treating me like a porcelain doll. Seriously, Jace, I'm fine and today is about you and Alec, not me. Nothing, not even a stupid pack of reporters is going to stop me from going to that game." Jace kissed the top of her head and laughed. "You're amazing, you know that?" Clary nodded, leaning up to kiss him when Isabelle pelted them with the carrot sticks left on her tray. "Will you guys stop already, I'm trying to eat!" Jace grinned. "You're just jealous." Isabelle turned to Simon as though her brother hadn't spoken. "What about you Simon? Are you coming to the game with us?" The hope in her eyes was clear. To everyone except Simon. "Yeah, I guess I'll go." Izzy smiled. "Great!" She stood from the table and brushed off her dress, causing the carrot Jace had thrown at her to fall to the floor. "I have to go talk to Mr. Blackthorn about an assignment, but I'll see you later." Simon nodded and watched as Izzy walked out of the cafeteria, his friends all laughing. "What?" That just made them laugh harder, and Magnus clapped Simon on the shoulder. "You, Simon Lewis, are completely clueless."

The parking lot of the Accords Hall was packed when Isabelle pulled into a spot. There were students from both Idris and Edom High School everywhere; climbing out of cars, huddled in groups in empty parking spots, only distinguishable by the colors they wore. Edom High School in red, Idris High School in black. When Clary followed Simon and Izzy into the stadium, she could see the two schools teams warming up on the field, and Jace grinned when he saw her, breaking away from the team to meet her at the fence that separated the field from the rest of the stadium. "You're wearing my jersey." He had given her his away jersey, identical to the one he was wearing save for the two white stripes on the sleeves, to wear for the game, as was the tradition for soccer players and their girlfriends or, in Magnus and Alec's case, boyfriends for the first game of the season. "Of course I am." "I daresay you look better in it than I do." "Wow, you must really love me. I never thought you would say anyone looked better than you." Jace just laughed and reached down to meet her lips with his. He tasted like Gatorade and his favorite spearmint gum and for a moment, her senses blurred. For a moment, the world fell away and it was only her and Jace. "Herondale!" Coach Scarsburys voice snapped her back to reality harshly. "Come on, we have a game to play!" "Yes, sir." Over his shoulder, Clary could see Jace's teammates trying to contain their laughter and she smiled sheepishly. "We have an audience." She shoved him in the direction of his team before he could get distracted again. "Go, I'll see you later." He walked backward for a moment, then winked at her and ran towards the other guys. Clary could hear them whooping and cheering as Jace approached and saw the blonde smack Jordan Kyle on the back of the head, despite the fact that he was grinning. "Come on my lovesick friend. We have a game to watch." Simon grabbed Clary by the shoulders and hauled her towards the bleachers where Magnus and Isabelle were already sitting. Clary just rolled her eyes and sat down next to Magnus who, she noticed, was wearing Alecs away jersey. "What?" he asked, catching her grin. "Nothing. I've just never seen you as happy as you are with Alec. Not even Camille." Magnus looked sad at the mention of his ex and Clary felt a pang of sympathy for him. He and Camille had gone out for almost two years until she decided that Magnus wasn't good enough for her. Magnus had tried to play it off like it didn't matter but Clary had known better. Camille was one of the few people Magnus had trusted and her leaving him had broken his heart. "Alec isn't like other people I've been with. He doesn't try to hide anything from me and he's always, one hundred percent honest and genuine about everything he does. That's why I was okay with him not telling his parents about me because I knew it wasn't because he was ashamed." Clary squeezed Magnus' hand. "Anyone who's ashamed of you is an idiot." Magnus chuckled and looked a little surprised at the ferocity in her voice. "Thank you, Biscuit." Just then, Coach Scarsbury blew his whistle, signaling the start of the game, and both high schools team captains ran to the center of the field. Clary could see Jace, standing with Alec as a forward, watching Jordan and Edom High Schools captain nervously. Everyone on the field stood completely still until Coach Scarbury blew the whistle again and they exploded into action. Jordan got the ball first, bolting to the other side of the field with Alec and Jace following close behind him. It wasn't long before Jordan managed to finagle the ball around the majority of Edoms players and kick it into the goal, scoring the first point of the game. The rest of the game continued like this with Edom in the lead and Idris a point behind. Clary could see that Jace was getting frustrated and she put her elbows on her knees, anxiety building in her chest. "Come on Jace, you got this, you got this. Come on you got this." Her hands were clenched into fists so tight that her knuckles turned white, her nails biting into the skin of her palms. Her heart dropped as the last thirty seconds of the game came and Idris was still a point behind. But then something incredible happened. Jace got ahold of the ball and, evading two of Edom's players, kicked it passed the goalie just before the whistle blew, ending the game. Everyone on Idris' side of the bleachers stood from their seats and cheered, the sound deafening in Clary's ears. Jace's teammates were cheering as well, hoisting Jace up on their shoulders and chanting his name as they carried him around the field. Soon the people in the stadium dispersed, Clary and her friends following them out to wait for Alec and Jace by the entrance. When the two brothers came out, faces bright with sweat and excitement, Jace ran at Clary and picked her up, spinning her around before setting her back down on the ground. "We did it, Clary, we did it!" Clary put her hands on her hips and looked up at him smugly. "See, what have I been telling since you tried out for the team? You should really listen to me more often." She wrapped her arms around his neck as he laughed. "You give yourself way too much credit Fray." Clary grinned and leaned up to kiss him when a voice made her freeze. "Clary." She knew who it was without having to look and even the sound of his voice made her blood run the way Jace tensed, he knew who it was too and Clary gave his arm a squeeze before turning to face the person she had dreaded seeing for months. "What do you want Sebastian?" She didn't even try to keep the hatred out of her voice and Sebastian looked stung, which only made her angry. After everything that he had done, what right did he have to be hurt? "I just want to talk." Simon took a step forward, but Clary shot him a look that made him stop. "There's nothing to talk about." Sebastian looked at her pleadingly. "Clary come on…." "No!" By now a crowd had formed around them, some of them reporters, but Clary was too worked up to care. "Just because a judge believes you didn't do anything wrong, doesn't mean I believe it. You got my brother killed." Sebastian took a step towards her, his hand outstretched, but she stepped back as though he were a wild animal. "I didn't mean for anything to happen to Jon. I thought….I thought I was okay, just please, you can't hate me. Just please tell me how to fix this." Clary stared at him incredulously and had to bite her lip to keep it from trembling. "Are you kidding me? You come here, after everything that you did and have the nerve to tell me what I can and can't do? Well guess what, I do hate you and if you really want to fix this, bring my brother back." Sebastian looked sad. "I cant…." "Exactly. Just stay away from me Sebastian." Her voice shook and she could feel tears falling from her eyes. She turned away, pushing through the crowd desperately. She would not cry in front of him. When Clary got to Isabelle's car, she pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes, trying to stop the tears. Suddenly, she felt arms go around her and she breathed in the scent of sunlight, freshly cut grass, and sweat. Jace. He just held her, letting her cry until she didn't have any tears left. "I'm sorry." she said, her words broken up by hiccups of breath. "You have nothing to apologize for." Clary wiped her eyes and leaned against the side of Isabelle's car. Her other friends stood a short distance away, looking at her sympathetically, and Clary felt worse. They were supposed to be celebrating their first win of the season, not feeling sorry for her. "I do though." Clary said, looking up at Jace. "Today was supposed to be about you and Alec…." "That doesn't mean that you don't have a right to be upset. Okay?" Alec nodded. "Yeah Clary. We're here for you whether we won a game or not." "We would be terrible friends if we weren't." Isabelle cut in and Clary almost smiled. "I love you guys." Simon and Magnus came over and enveloped her in a hug. "And we love you." When she pulled away from her friends, she caught sight of a reporter standing in the next aisle of the parking lot, holding a camera in their direction. "Run!" she yelled and took off in the direction of the restaurant across the street from the stadium. The six of them ducked into the alley between the restaurant and a bank that had closed for the night, collapsing against the wall, breathless and laughing they were sure the reporter hadn't followed them, Isabelle walked over and threw her arm around Clary's shoulders. "Come on. Let's go be psychos together."

At lunch Friday afternoon, the table Clary usually sat at with her friends was empty save for Isabelle and Simon. "Where is everyone?" she asked as she sat down. "Alec and Jace had an 'emergency' soccer practice and Magnus ducked out for work early. Something about paperwork." Simon didn't look up from his phone the entire time he was talking and Clary couldn't help but laugh. Magnus, needing only three more credits to graduate in June, spent half the school day at his job as a medical assistant at the local hospital. He was always complaining about paperwork and how he was 'drowning' in it, so this was nothing new to Clary and Simon. Isabelle frowned and pointed at Clary with a bloodred fingernail. "Is that my shirt?" Clary nodded nervously and glanced down at the article of clothing and question, a simple white, flowy tank top with eyelet lace at the neckline and sleeves. She had taken it from Isabelle's closet when she had slept over after the game a week before and had 'accidentally' forgotten to return it. "Yeah, sorry. I know I should have….." But Izzy never got to know what her friend should have done because she was silenced by the sound of a gun going off.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Simon did not register what was happening at first. One minute he was talking with Isabelle and Clary and the next, people were screaming and the sound of glass shattering was ringing in his ears. His eyes flew to the source of the sound and his heart hit the floor. Sebastian Verlac stood at the opposite end of the cafeteria, pointing a handgun up at the ceiling where he had just shot out one of the overhead lights. People got up from their seats, running to the cafeteria doors and desperately trying to push them open, only to find that they were locked. Sebastian had locked them in. When Sebastian saw them, he smiled. And shot down every last person until all that was left in front of the doors was a pile of Brown was among them, her pale blonde hair rapidly turning crimson with blood, and Simon felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. She was only fifteen. She would never graduate, never get married or have kids, she would never even get a chance to leave Idris. She was supposed to have a long life ahead of her, full of possibilities. But this was were it ended for her and the thought made Simon sick. "Anyone else?" Sebastian asked. He scanned the room with his black eyes, taking in the sight of the terrified students around him, the broken glass and blood on the floor. He walked slowly across the room, pausing halfway to Simon and his friends. Out of the corner of his eye, Simon saw Jordan Kyle sitting among the students Sebastian had stopped in front of, reaching into his back pocket for his phone, and Simon wanted to slap him, throw something at him, do anything to get him to stop but it was to late. Sebastian saw him first. He walked in Jordans direction and crouched down in front of him with a sadistic smile on his face. "What do you think your doing?" Jordan looked up, eyes wide. "I….I…." Sebastian glanced down at Jordan's phone and his expression changed from deranged glee to to anger in a matter of seconds. He swung out with his fist, hitting Jordan in the face so hard that his phone flew out of his hands and across the cafeteria, hitting the wall at an angle so Simon could see the screen where Jordan had been dialing 911. _No,no,no,no,no!_ Simon thought. _You idiot!_ He knew Jordan had only been trying to help but, selfishly, Simon wished he hadn't. He should have been at soccer practice with Alec and Jace, not here, in a cafeteria full of students who were about to die. Sebastian sneered at the boy in front of him, wiping the blood from Jordans nose on his jeans. "Now look what you've done." His voice was heavy with disdain. "You were only trying to help, and all you got yourself was killed." Sebastian tilted his head to the side, as though he were studying a particularly fascinating specimen. "I remember you Jordan Kyle. You always wanted to do the right thing, always wanted to protect anyone you could. I hope they remember you." Then he raised his gun and, without hesitation, fired a bullet into Jordans chest. Simons vision went white and beside him he heard Clary scream, covering her mouth with her hand in an attempt to mask her sobs. "Anyone else want to try and be the hero?" Sebastian asked, holding his arms in the air as if he had done something praiseworthy. He looked around,waiting for a response, but the loudest thing in the room was the voice in Simons head, praying that he and his friends would make it out of the cafeteria alive. Though if God had heard Simons prayers, he obviously didn't care or was taking his sweet time answering them, because to Simons horror, the next person Sebastian's eyes landed on was Clary. He stalked towards her and held the barrel of his gun directly against her forehead. "Get up." He said through clenched teeth. "Get up or I swear to God, I'll shoot you." Gone was the star linebacker who had once been one of the kindest people Simon had ever met. There was nothing kind about the boy standing there now, looking at the girl he had once loved more than anything with pure hatred. This boy was cold and cruel, his eyes filled with rage and pain. Clary didn't move, which only made Sebastian even more angry. He lowered the gun to his side and backhanded her across the face, her head wrenching to the side with neck-breaking force. "I SAID GET UP!" he screamed, his whole body shaking with fury. Isabelle stood and took a step towards him. Simon yanked on her wrist, trying to get her to sit back down but she didn't listen. "Leave her al…." Sebastian whirled and pulled the trigger, causing Isabelle to scream and fall to the ground. Simon ran for her, and relief flooded over him in a wave. The bullet had hit her in the thigh, staining her light blue jeans with blood, but it hadn't hit anything important. From the way Isabelle's face had drained of color, it hurt like a bitch, but she would live. Any relief Simon had felt was crushed when Sebastian stalked forward, his gun trained on Izzy's chest as it had been when he killed Jordan. Suddenly, Simon had a crazy thought. He hadn't been able to save his bandmate, but he could save Isabelle. He made his decision before he thought it all the way through and threw himself between Isabelle and Sebastian's gun. "Woah, woah, woah. You don't want to do that." Sebastian just laughed at him. "Don't I? Why don't we let Clary decide," He glanced over at the redhead, who already had a bruise forming on her cheek where Sebastian had hit her. "What do you think Clary? Its you…. or them." Simons heart sank as he realized what position he had just put her in. Either she chose to go with Sebastian and face death alone, or she chose her own life and he and Izzy died. Whatever she chose, Simon knew that he wouldn't walk out of the cafeteria with both Clary and Isabelle alive. "Look," Simon said. "You don't have to do…." Sebastian held his gun above his head and fired three shots into the light hanging above them. More screams rang out and Simon threw his body over Isabelle's as glass rained down on them, feeling the shards cut at his skin and clothes, fall in his hair. "Shut up!" Sebastian yelled. "You have ten seconds. Make your choice or they die." Without another moments hesitation, Clary stood, walking towards Sebastian with timid steps. "Excellent." He grabbed her by the arm and spun her so her back was against his chest, wrapping one arm around her neck and holding his gun out with the other. "Anyone follows us, they will regret it." He slowly began dragging Clary backwards into the hallway where a few empty classrooms were. Simon started to get up, but Clary shook her head, mouthing something he couldn't decipher. It wasn't until she was gone that Simon realized what she had said. _Tell Jace I'm sorry._

Jace was outside when the shooting started. When he heard the the first shot, he thought he was imagining it. But by the horrified expressions on the coach and other players faces, they heard it too. His thoughts were racing a million miles an hour and the look on Alecs face told Jace that his brother was thinking the same thing. _What was happening? Clary, Izzy, Simon, Magnus. Were they alright?_ Suddenly, the radio that Coach Scarsbury always carried beeped and Jace could hear Principal Penhallows frantic voice on the other end. "Help….shooter….gun….cafeteria…." Jace only heard pieces of what she was trying to say, but it was enough to make his blood run cold. "What do we do?" Bat Valasquez, a sophomore who was one of the best on the team, asked. For the first time, Coach Scarsbury looked at a loss for words. "I….um, I…." "We get help." Alec interrupted. Jace was surprised. Alec had always been the quietest sibling, going along with whatever Jace and Izzy wanted to do, only speaking against it if it was dangerous. Now here he was, taking charge during the most dangerous situation they had ever been in. "Does anyone have their phone?" No one answered. "Coach?" Coach Scarsbury should have had a cell phone for emergencies, but he still hadnt made it out of the last century. No one minded, because they had always been safe. Nothing bad ever happened in Idris. "Where's the nearest emergency phone?" Alec asked. Coach Scarsbury grunted. "There's one near the entrance of the school." Alec nodded. "Okay. There's a gas station up the street. Jace and I will go up there and see if we can find a pay phone or something. Coach, go find the emergency phone. Stay safe, stay away from the school." Coach nodded slowly. Normally the team followed him or Jordan but Jordan wasn't there and Coach Scarsburys planning never extended past the soccer field. He listened to Alec despite the fact that he was the Lightwood boys superior. "Bat, Tyler, Matt." The group of boys were usually the most talkative on the team, but not now. "Find out if any of the emergency exits near the cafeteria are open, but stay away from the windows. If you can get in, find a phone. And remember, we don't know what the shooter is capable of or willing to do. Just focus on getting emergency responders here and let them do their jobs." Alec winced as another crack rang through the air, followed by several more. _One. Two. Three. Four. Five._ Jace tried not to think about what happening inside the school and tried to focus on the plan. "Its a good plan. Lets do it." Those seven words were enough to set everyone into action. Bat, Tyler, and Matt picked up their water bottles and started running, Coach Scarsbury following close behind. Alec tossed Jace his Gatorade and he took a few gulps before discarding it. More shots broke the warm April air and they ran, reaching the gas station about ten minutes later. Jaces heart was pounding and his legs felt boneless, but he still managed to hall himself into the gas station and up to the counter where a bored looking cashier sat. "Hey!" Jace called, and his voice was loud and urgent enough that the cashier jumped. "Do you have a phone I could use?" The pimple-covered teenager nodded and passed him a cracked Smartphone from his pocket. It took Jace three tries to dial the number correctly, and when he finally heard the ring, he was bouncing on the balls of his feet in impatience. "911, whats your emergency?" "Hi, my name is Jace Herondale and I'm calling about a shooting at Idris High School." "Are you inside the school right now?" Jace didn't understand why this was relevant. "No, my brother and I are at the gas station up the street." There was a long pause, and Jace fought the urge to scream at the woman to hurry up. "Alright sir, police are on their way." For the first time since he had heard the first shot, Jace felt the slightest bit of relief. "Alright, thank you." He hung up and was about to hand the phone back to the cashier when he thought of something else. Alec, who had been pacing around the gas station the entire time Jace was on the phone, looked at him quizzically. "What are you doing?" "Texting Isabelle," Jace said without looking up.

 **Jace: Iz, its Jace. We heard the shots. Are you okay?**

Jace waited anxiously for several minutes until the phone pinged, signaling an incoming text.

 _Isabelle: Simon and I are fine. Sebastian Verlac locked us all in the cafeteria._

 _Simon and I are fine._ Jaces felt his heart clench.

 **Jace: What about Clary and Magnus?**

The longer it took for Izzy to respond, the more panicked Jace became. He wanted to believe that Clary was fine, wanted to believe that he would know if something had happened to her, but something told him that he was wrong. Izzys next response made him wish that he hadn't asked at all.

 _Isabelle: Magnus left for work before lunch even started but Jace…. Clarys gone. Sebastian took her._

Jace felt his knees give way and he had to catch at the counter to keep himself from falling. He couldn't see, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He had lost a lot of people in his life, but Clary was the one person that he couldn't lose. She kept him grounded, focused. She had faith in him when he didn't even have faith in himself. She reminded him that, even on days when he was feeling completely hopeless and alone, life was worth living. _Clarys gone._ It couldn't be true. It couldnt be because if it was, Jace didnt know if he would survive.

Sebastian dragged Clary down the hallway as far from the cafeteria as he could get, shoving her into an empty classroom so hard it sent her sprawling on the tile floor. When she looked up, Sebastian was laughing. "What?" she spat. Sebastian crouched down in front of her, putting his hand under her chin so she was forced to look up at his face. "I remember when we used to sneak into these classrooms for…" His eyes trailed up her body slowly, from her thighs to her chest, and back up to her face. "different activities." Clary tensed as Sebastian placed his hand on her thigh and began to move it up towards the hem of her shorts, a malicious grin on his face. "We used to have so much fun. Do you remember?" Clary stood, moving as far away from him as she could possibly get and trying - in vain - to yank the hem of her shorts down further than it would realistically go. "That's not why I'm here. I'm here because you threatened and killed my friends." Sebastian snorted, taking the time to reload his gun. "Everyone in that room deserved what they got. This entire town deserves it." Clary couldn't believe what she was hearing. " _Seventeen people_ deserved to die?" "Yes." He said it with a tone of finality. "I lost everything after your brother died. You, my friends, my spot on the football team. My parents think I've disgraced the family name and now I'm labeled as the murderer of Idris' golden boy. That the problem with this town, Clary. You slip up once and suddenly your nothing to them. When everyone you've ever known decides you're a worthless piece of trash, might as well prove them right." The more he spoke, the angrier Clary got. "And what about Maureen, Jordan? They were innocent." Sebastian scoffed. "That's _your_ problem Clary. You always want to see the best in everyone. It was one of the things I used to love about you, but in the end it makes you naive." He leaned down so he could hiss the last sentence in her ear. "No one is innocent. Not even that blonde boy-toy of yours." "Leave Jace out of this." She fought to keep her voice steady, refusing to let him see that she was even the slightest bit afraid. "Why? We both know that boys like him don't stay with girls like you. Once he gets what he wants, he'll leave and find someone else." Before Clary could think twice about it, she reached up and cracked her hand across his face. It was the worst mistake she could have made. He hit her back, twice as hard, and she hit the floor on her hands and knees. Before she even had a chance to get back up on her feet, Sebastian swung out and kicked her over and over, landing blows to her chest, stomach, and face. She lay on the ground, not daring to move, until Sebastian reached down and grabbed a fistful of her hair, slamming her against the wall, his arms on either side of her like a cage. "Whats wrong sweetheart?" He asked sarcastically. "You look upset." "I cracked my nail polish…. slapping your worthless face. See?" She showed him her finger. Just one. "Cute." He snorted and pressed her back harder against the wall. She could feel his chest rise and fall against hers and his body felt like a prison, pinning her in place. "Let me go…." He leaned closer to her, growling in her ear. "Its funny. You look at me as though I am such a monster but what you don't realize is that you are exactly like me. You pretended to care about me, pretended to love me, but when I needed you, you were nowhere to be played me and now you're playing Jace too." "I never faked caring about Jace." She saw something flash in his eyes then, a dark jealousy, and he put his lips against her cheek, close enough that she could feel them move against her skin when he spoke. "It doesn't matter now. He'll be free soon enough." He pushed himself away from her and walked a few steps away, peeling off his jacket and neatly folding it before placing it on a desk. "What are you talking about?" Clary asked, to afraid to move away from the wall. Sebastian didn't answer. It was as if all the life had gone out of him. The angry, hostile boy that had dragged her into the room and pointed a gun at her head was gone and had been replaced by an automaton. His movements were almost mechanical, his face expressionless, and this scared her more than his raging ever did. He took off his watch and stared at it, Clary wondered how much time had passed. Minutes? Hours? It felt like an eternity. Sebastian folded the watch and put it in his pocket. "You know, you used to mean everything to me. You and your brother. And I thought that if I had a chance to explain, maybe you would take me back. But then I saw you at the game with _him_ ….and I knew it was all a lie. If you had truly loved me, you wouldn't have been able to move on so quickly." Tears began to fall from Clary's eyes, stinging the cut on her cheek from where Sebastian's foot had hit her, but she barely felt it. "I did love you." Sebastian just laughed humorlessly. "If I could go back and changed what happened that night, I would. But I cant." His voice cracked and he took a few deep breaths, though his hands still shook violently as he raised his gun. "This is the only way I can think to fix it. Just think Clary, it will be the three of us together again. You, me, and Jon. The way its supposed to be." Clarys breathing quickened and she gave up on trying to hide her fear. "Sebastian, Sebastian please…." When he pulled the trigger, she felt it rather than heard it. There was a god-awful burning in her chest and she was no longer standing. It felt as if all the air had been sucked out of her lungs and suddenly the world around her was underwater. Clary began to panic. She didn't want to die, she wasn't ready. Faces began to flash before her eyes; her friends, her family, the people she loved most in the world. _Please._ She thought. _Please let me live._ Clary had never been religious, had never really thought about whether or not she believed in God, but now she was praying with every ounce of strength she had left. She suddenly wanted to laugh as she thought of something that Simons dad used to say: "There are no atheists in the trenches." She didnt realize how true it was until she was actually living it. _Please._ She didnt see Sebastian turn the gun on himself, but she heard the shot, heard his body fall, and then, by some miracle, sirens. _Good. At least nobody else will die today_. Then she closed her eyes and everything fell into darkness.


	10. Chapter 10

**Alright, guys, this is the final chapter! I really enjoyed writing this story and I want to thank all of you that favorited and followed it, or followed and favorited me as a writer. Enjoy!**

Alec hated hospitals. Always had. It was hospitals that he had spent the majority of his time in when his little brother was sick and it was a hospital that he was in now, waiting for Jace. For the past day and a half he and his brother had been sitting in the waiting room of the ICU, waiting to hear anything about Clary. Both boys had been stunned when Luke walked into the waiting room accompanied by a woman who introduced herself as Clary's mother. Alec had never met Jocelyn Fray before, but it was blatantly obvious that she and Clary were related. Jocelyn was a spitting image of her daughter, and though she seemed like a nice enough person, Alec couldn't help but feel a dislike towards her. From what he had heard from Jace, and even Clary herself, Jocelyn had all but disappeared after her son's death, and left Clary to deal with her grief alone all this time. It made Alec sad to think that it took a tragedy like this, that it took not knowing whether or not his friend was going to die to get her mother out of bed. Regardless of whether he liked her or not, Alec had sat with her, Luke, and Jace, waiting, until his brother had gotten up to get some air, telling Alec to text him if he heard anything. It had been over an hour and when the door opened Alec turned, expecting Jace, but instead saw a very frazzled, yet relieved looking Magnus. "Luke, Jocelyn." The pair stood and looked at their daughters friend nervously. "How is she?" Luke asked. "She's out of surgery." Magnus said cautiously. "She's stable but still in critical condition and still unconscious." "Well that's good right?" Jocelyn asked and Magnus looked wary. Alec knew that he wasn't Jocelyn's biggest fan either. "We don't know anything yet, but you can go see her." Jocelyn nodded and quickly disappeared down the hallway that lead to Clarys room. Alec was about to pull his phone out and text Jace when the last person he ever expected to see in Idris walked through the door. It was Robert Lightwood. When he spotted Alec, the worry on his face faded a little and he threw his arms around his son, sighing in relief. "Oh Alec…." Alec didn't know what to say. Seven months he had been trying to get ahold of his father, and instead of relief, all he felt was anger. "What are you doing here?" Alec pushed his father away, not hard, but enough to surprise him and didn't even try to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "I'm going to go with Jocelyn and Luke." Magnus said before kissing Alec briefly and walking away. Robert looked uncomfortable but Alec couldn't bring himself to care. "What are you doing here?" "I heard about what happened at the school….Are you okay?" It was like all the stress, anger and grief Alec had been feeling over the past couple of hours poured out of him in a tidal wave "No! Nothing about this is okay! It's not okay that some psychopath locked half the school in the cafeteria and killed seventeen people. It's not okay that my friend is in this hospital _dying,_ and it's not okay that it took a _school shooting_ to get you down here!" Robert looked as though Alec had slapped him. "Alexander…." "Don't." He knew he was shouting , he knew that a few months ago, he never would have dared to speak to his father the way he was now, but he had had enough. "Seven months. Seven months we have been trying to get ahold of you and you have been nowhere to be found. You abandoned us when we needed you, and at first I thought it was because you needed time after losing Max but you didn't care about him. You only cared about getting laid." Alec knew he was crossing a line, bringing up his little brother but he didn't care. He needed his father to hear him. "And look, it's great that not that something bad has happened to one of us that you _finally_ want to step up and be a parent, but just know that none of this makes up for what you did to mom." Robert rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, trying to keep his anger under control. "Come here." His voice was a his and h grabbed Alec by the wrist, yanking him out into the empty hallway. "I know that I have made a lot of mistakes, but I have _always, always_ cared about you and your siblings. And I cared about your mother too, I still do, but sometimes, with relationships, you think that people are meant to be together but they just…. aren't." He didn't look at Alec when he said it. Instead, his gaze was on the door that Magnus and Clary's parents had gone through a minute before. "What is that supposed to mean?" Robert sighed, glancing from the door, to his son, and back. "Alec, you have to know that your…. _fling_ with this boy won't work out…." Alec scoffed. "You turned your back on me for almost a year. You don't know anything about me or my relationship, so you can take your assumptions and shove it.' Then he turned and walked away, leaving his father standing alone in disbelief. Never once in his whole life had he ever spoken to his father like that and now that he had, it felt as if a massive weight had been lifted off of his chest. He stopped walking abruptly, remembering what he had been about to do when his dad showed up, and sent his brother a text. He waited at the end of the hallway, expecting his brother to come flying around the corner at any second. He didn't. After a minute, Alec gave up waiting and headed up the stairs towards his sisters room. Alec and Jace had arrived at the school shortly after the police. After Jace had told him that Magnus had been at work when the shooting started, Isabelle was the only person Alec cared about finding. When he had, instead of feeling relieved, his heart nearly stopped. Simon Lewis was carrying her out of the cafeteria, his hands and the knees of his jeans soaked in blood and his belt strapped tightly over the bullet wound in Izzy's thigh. She had needed surgery to repair the torn tendons in her leg but otherwise, she would be fine. She was lucky. Many others, like Jordan, weren't. There had been several people in the cafeteria that had tried to save Jordan, but there was nothing they could do. According to the doctors Alec had spoken to, the bullet had hit Jordan in a place where, even if emergency responders had gotten there immediately, he would have died less than a minute after being shot. As Alec approached the door to his sisters room, he felt a mix of emotions twist in his gut. The most identifiable of them were anger and sorrow. Sorrow, because Jordan had deserved to live. He had been a senior like Alec and had had his whole future mapped out. He had wanted to leave Idris, go to college on a soccer scholarship and study law. He and his girlfriend Maia had been making plans to move out to New York after they graduated, had even asked Alec for advice on areas to buy apartments. Now, instead of packing boxes to move in with Jordan, Maia would be helping his family make funeral arrangements and clean out his room so they wouldn't have to look at his things and be reminded that he was gone and that he wasn't coming back. Anger flared through him again. Alec understand what could drive anyone to do something like _this_. Seventeen people were dead, twice that many were in the same situation as Isabelle and for _what?_ His thoughts were interrupted by what he saw as he walked into Izzy's room. Their mom had left a while ago to go home and shower, and Simon sat next to his sister on the bed, far enough away that he wasn't touching her injured leg but close enough so that he could put his arm around her while she slept. He had changed out of his stained clothes and, other than a few stitches on his forehead from where he had been cut by glass, he looked unharmed. For that, Alec was glad. "Hey." he said quietly. Simons eyes widened behind his glasses as though he were a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I can go…." Alec just shook his head. "Let her sleep." Simon relaxed slightly and he and Alec watched the rise and fall of Izzy's chest as she slept in silence. "Thank you." Alec said in an almost whisper. The other boy looked stunned. "For what?" Alec sighed. He wasn't good with words on a good day, so the events of the past twenty-four hours had turned his brain to mush. "Isabelle told me what you did. That you saved her life." Alec had been the one in the room, waiting for Isabelle to wake up from her surgery and when she had, it had only taken her a moment to remember what had happened. "Simon. Alec, where's Simon?!" she asked frantically. "He's fine. He's downstairs with Jace." Isabelle sighed in relief, covering her face with her hands. "Oh thank God. I would never forgive myself if…." "Hold on." Alec put his hand up, stopping her. "Even if something had happened to him, how would that in any way be your fault?" "He saved my life." she said from behind her hands. "He, Sebastian, was going to put a bullet through my chest and Simon jumped in front of me. He saved my life." She said the last bit in a sort of wonder, as if she couldn't believe that someone would do that for her. Seeing the way Simon was looking at his sister now, Alec could believe it. "I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to her. All my life, I've always tried to protect them - Izzy and Jace. Max to before he….anyway, yesterday I couldn't. You were there for Iz when I couldn't be, so thank you." Simon smiled and nodded. The anxiety that had been on his face when Alec had come into the room was gone and he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of Isabelle's head, pulling her slightly closer to him. "Have you heard anything?" Simon didn't have to say Clarys name for Alec to know who he was talking about. "She's stable but still in critical condition. Magnus went with Clary's parents to go see her." If Simon was surprised that Jocelyn had shown up, he didn't show it. Instead, he rubbed a hand over his face, mindful of his stitches, and took a shaking breath. Alec had never seen Simon cry and when tears began to fall down his face, he didn't know what to say. "I should have gone after her." "If you had, you would be dead." Both boys jumped. Isabelle was awake, sitting up and fixing Simon with a cold, hard stare. "What happened to Clary wasn't your fault. If you had followed them, Sebastian would have shot you and you are no good to anyone dead." Simon squeezed Isabelle's hand but didn't say anything. By the slight distance Simon had put between himself and Isabelle, Alec could tell he was itching to go see Clary. "Simon, could you give us a minute?" Simon nodded and slid off the bed, giving Isabelle's hand one last squeeze before walking from the room. "I'll be back." Alec watched as the door closed behind him, and when he turned back to his sister, she had her arms crossed over her chest and was raising a dark eyebrow at him. "Whats going on?" He opened his mouth to tell her it was nothing, but the glare on her face stopped him. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I may not be able to use my leg but that doesn't mean that I won't come over there and throttle you. What are you hiding from me?" Alec sighed. He remembered how upset she had been after he had told her about their parents divorce, how she had run out of the cabin as if she couldn't get away fast enough. He had always seen her as his baby sister, who needed him to protect her. But then he looked at her, saw the bandage around her leg, saw the room they were sitting in and reality hit him like a slap in the face. She wasnt his baby sister anymore, she wasnt the little girl he had always thought her to be. She had a right to know. "Dads back." Whatever Isabelle had been expecting Alec to say, it definitely wasn't that. Her whole body tensed and her eyes widened, searching for any sign that Alec was messing with her. "Wha….what did he say?" "That he heard about what happened at the school and he wanted to make sure we were okay." Izzy watched him for a moment, knowing that her older brother wasn't telling her the whole truth. "But that isn't the reason why you're upset." Alec shook his head. "What did he do?" "Dad saw me kiss Magnus in the waiting room and - after Magnus left - started telling me about how our "fling" wouldn't work out." Isabelle's expression darkened. She and Jace had been Alecs fiercest supporters when he was closeted and had feared what would happen when their dad found out as much as Alec had. "Alec, I have never seen you as happy as you are with Magnus. Don't let something dad said get in the way of one of the best things that ever happened to you." The two siblings were quiet for a long time when suddenly Alec had a thought. "I wonder what he's going to think of Simon." Izzy frowned, the already existing lines on her forehead deepening. "Why would he care about Simon?" Alec flashed his sister a look that said ' _Do you really think I'm that stupid?'_ "Iz, there is obviously something going on between the two of you. You really panicked when woke up…." "I thought something happened to him!" But there was something in her eyes, an uncertainty, that told Alec exactly what she was thinking. "You're worried that he doesn't care about you the way that you care about him." Isabelle picked at the polish on her nails, causing red flaked of it to fall onto her hospital gown. "Isabelle, Simon's crazy about you." "Then why doesn't he ever say it?" She glanced at him with a sad expression, and Alec saw a side of her that few people ever did. An insecure girl who never got into serious relationships because she was afraid of getting hurt. A girl who always felt the need to prove herself because she had grown up surrounded by brothers that everyone looked up to and wanted to be. "Because he's afraid of the same thing you are. He's afraid of being rejected." Isabelle looked like she was about to argue, but Alec interrupted her. "Talk to 's not going to do you any good just sitting here and wondering." Just then, Magnus opened the door and peeked into the room, immediately turning to Alec. "Can I talk to you?" Alec hesitated, glancing at his sister who simply nodded. "Go. I'm going to try and sleep again anyway." Alec stood, following Magnus out of the room and into the hallway. "What did you want to talk to me ab…." He was cut off by Magnus pulling his head down towards him and kissing him fiercely. It wasn't like all their other kisses had been, sweet and slow and gentle. This kiss was hot and desperate and held every unspoken fear the both of them had been feeling since the shooting. "Alexander…." Magnus said breathlessly. "When I heard about the shooting…. I've never felt that kind of fear. Not knowing if you were dead or alive….I was terrified." Alec stared at his boyfriend, unable to think of the right words to say. "So was I. When we were at the gas station, all I could think about, all that mattered to me was that you and my sister made it out of the school alive." he paused, watching Magnus's face for a moment. "I've never felt this way about anyone. I never had relationships because I always thought that what I felt was wrong. Until you came along and suddenly, I didn't care what my dad or anyone else thought. All I cared about was you. I….I love you." Magnus looked stunned. Alec wasn't typically the outgoing one in their relationship. "I love you too." Magnus cupped his long fingers under Alec's chin and kissed him, his touch light against Alecs skin. It was a slow, gentle kiss, a kiss that promised more later, when they weren't standing in the middle of a hospital hallway and could be seen by anyone walking by. For a moment, just a moment, the world fell away and all the worry and fear Sebastian Verlac had wrought disappeared, because there, with Magnus, everything was perfect.

Clary didn't wake up in the world of the dead. She instead opened her eyes to blinding white light and an unfamiliar room. She was propped up in a hard, uneven bed and she hoped that the beeping to the left of her head meant that she was alive. Death shouldn't have brought the dull but noticeable ache in her chest or the pinching feeling in her wrist. There was something taped across her face, right under her nose, and she reached up to rip it off when a cool hand caught at hers. "Oh no you don't." Clary turned her head slightly and froze. Standing above her was her mother, deep bruise-like bags resting underneath her once bright green eyes. "Mom?" Clarys voice was hoarse from having not been used in so long, and her mother nodded. "Yeah." She squeezed Clary's hand and began to sob. "Oh Clary, I'm so sorry." Clary couldn't find it in herself to be angry. For so long, all she had wanted was her mother. Now she was here and that was all that mattered. "Its okay Mom. Shh, it's okay." It took her mother several minutes to compose herself, and when she did, her eyes still shone with tears. "What happened?" Clary asked. The last thing she remembered was talking to Simon in the cafeteria, everything else beyond that was empty blackness. Jocelyn bit her lip, looking unsure. "Sweetheart, you were shot." Clary thought for a minute and everything came flooding back to her. Sebastian, the shooting, the classroom, everything. She inhaled sharply and pain shot through her chest. Jocelyn looked concerned, but Clary waved her off. "Are the others okay? Simon, Izzy, Jace?" Her mother nodded. "Isabelle had to get surgery to fix some tendons in her leg, but she and the others are fine." "How long have I been asleep?" Jocelyn's took a shaky breath and Clary thought that she was going to cry again. "Two days. I….I thought…." Clary squeezed her mom's fingers, causing her to stop. "Mom, I'm okay I promise." Jocelyn was quiet for a long time and soon, someone rapped their knuckles on the door. Both women turned to see Jace, his golden hair disheveled and his eyes worried. "Hey." There was relief in his voice and Clary couldn't help but feel relieved herself. He was here. Jace was here and he was okay. "Hi." Jocelyn glanced between the two teenagers and stood, brushing off her jeans. "I'm going to go find Luke, let him know your awake." Clary nodded and Jace stepped further into the room to allow Jocelyn to pass. When she was gone, he walked around the bed and took a seat in the chair next to Clary, grasping the redheads fingers in his calloused ones. "How are you feeling?" Clary considered telling him the truth, but then saw the worried expression on his face and decided against it. "Fine." Jace knew that she was lying to him, but decided not to press her on it. She tried to sit up,but he used the hand that wasn't holding hers to gently push her back down on the bed. "No, you need to lie down." The building pain in her chest told her that he was right. Her mind might have been awake, but her body was exhausted. "Come closer then." she said. "I want to be close to you." Jace thought for a minute, than kicked off his shoes. Clary turned onto her side, which made her wince, and managed to move over so that there was enough room for him on the bed. He curled up next to her, their faces resting only a few inches apart as he gazed at her. "Is this better?" He asked and Clary nodded. "Much." Jace reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "How are you really?" Clary smiled faintly at the concern in his voice. "Hungry." Jace laughed softly and cautiously slid his hand down to her lower back in a sort of half-embrace. "I'm sure you are. I think all the nurses have managed to get in you is IV fluids." He gestured to the clear tubes that lead from her wrist to a bag of fluids hanging on a pole to his right. His smile faded as he took in the tubes and the monitors around him. "Jace," she put her hand to his cheek, making him look at her. "I'm okay." "I thought you were dead." Jace's voice was barely a whisper but she could still hear the fear in it. "I thought you were dead, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I have never felt so helpless or afraid of anything in my entire life." "Jace. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Jace sighed and leaned down to bring his mouth to hers. They kissed lightly at first and the sweetness of it overpowered any pain she had been feeling. The intensity had just picked up when Jace pulled away. "Hey, what gives?" Clary asked. "You're still healing," Jace said cautiously. "You might think you're back to normal but you aren't." Clary sighed and half closed her eyes, knowing that he was right. She thought she was about to fall asleep again when the door opened and a cacophony of voices made her eyes snap open. Isabelle, Simon,Magnus, and Alec all stood in the doorway, grinning and shoving their way in. Izzy was on crutches, a bandage wrapped tightly around her left thigh, and when she threw herself down in the chair on the side of Clarys bed, Clarys could see tears in her eyes. "Hi." She said it weakly, and Isabelle half sobbed, half laughed as she grabbed Clary's hand. "You scared us." Clary laughed halfheartedly and regretted it. Stitches tugged in her chest but she ignored the sharp discomfort. "Sorry Iz, I think your shirt is ruined." "I don't care about the shirt." Tears trailed down Izzy's face and Clary glanced up at the others, who all wore the same worried expressions as Izzy. "You guys don't have to look so worried. I'm okay." Magnus came forward and sat at the foot of her bed. "You almost died…." "But I didn't. I'm still here." She felt her eyes closing further, her grip on Isabelle's hand loosening. "I'm just tired. If I could just sleep awhile…." "Of course. Of course you can." Magnus said, and Clary could tell that he was fighting tears of his own. "And you won't leave me?" This time it was Jace who answered. "No. We'll never leave you. You know that." "Never." Simon agreed and he came to sit on the side of the bed opposite Magnus. She fell asleep like that, surrounded by her friends, as the sunset with the dusk.

 **Epilogue: Two weeks later**

The memorial that had been built on the football field for Jon earlier that year had nearly tripled in size. It now included the seventeen people who had been killed in the shooting two weeks ago. It was pretty, covered in pictures and flowers, but the sight of it still sent a chill through Clary's bones. Eighteen. Eighteen people that she had known her entire life had died in less than a year and it was all because of one person. "Hey." Clary jumped and turned to see Jace walking towards her across the field. She almost smiled as she remembered the first time she had had an actual conversation with him and it had started the exact same way. That was when there had only been one person to mourn. "Where's Izzy?" she asked. "I just dropped her off at Simons." Clary smiled. Isabelle and Simon had become closer than ever since the shooting and tonight, Simon was taking her on their first official date. It wasn't anything too exciting, as Isabelle was on crutches, but it was a date nonetheless. "What are you thinking about?" Jace asked her. "This." She gestured to the memorial in front of her and felt grief stab at her. A lot had changed since the shooting. Not only did she, Isabelle, and several other people have physical scars as proof of what had happened, but the whole demeanor of the town had changed. Eric, Matt, and Kirk, some of the quirkiest, happiest people Clary had ever met, had become more serious and somber since the loss of their bandmate. They laughed and smiled still, but it was left often. Rock Solid Panda had disbanded altogether, every member of the group saying that it didn't feel right to keep the band going without Jordan. Simon continued to play and write songs on his own, but Clary could tell his heart wasn't in it. She herself had kind of given up on her drawing. Every time she put her pencil to the page, the only things that came to mind were god-awful images that belonged in horror movies and nightmares. There were things she loved about Idris. It was still one of the loveliest places she had ever seen; The rows of houses along the canal were softened by shadow, like velvet silhouettes. But places like the school were heart-achingly sad to be in, knowing that so many that had walked through the halls would never walk them again. Jace sighed and pulled her closer to him. "We'll figure it out. We always do." Clary couldn't tell from the tone of his voice if he actually believed it or not, but she wanted to believe it. "I hope your right." "I'm always right." She knew he was trying to make her feel better but even he hadn't been feeling the sarcasm recently. "We'll be okay." He said it more firmly this time, pulling Clary into a hug and burying his face into the crook of her neck. He breathed a sigh of relief and Clary knew what he was thinking. As selfish as it was, he was glad that he wasn't standing here adding her picture to the memorial."I love you, Jace Herondale." He looked at her for a moment, then leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. "I love you too." Those four words didn't fix everything that had gone wrong in the past weeks, but for now, it was enough.


End file.
